Emily was me, Sledg all along. And with the help of my life companion eric we got you! We got you good! The first comment from "Emily" was for real. After that though it was all 100% sledg fabrication! No one can defeat eric!
To be fair, Eric didnt know it was me untill i had to call him and tell him that he had banned my IP address. Then we were in cahoots! We were going to take over the world, fooling one person at a time!
Just for the record i did not mean a single thing I said as emily. I was playing the part of the character. Anything "she" said is not in anyway how i feel about anyone.
I love you all and I just wanted to throw a hornets nest into a pile of wolverines. Sorry to take the rabid froth from your mouths!!!!
Eric ([e]) - you are pathetic pussy and you have no computer skills. you are a big loser who has to brag about working at nike just to get some girls to get neer you.
Sarah- you dont care about me at all do you? that is why i am the one thing you have been talking about for the last week or so. Sorry hon, but you are the one that is dumb and stupid.
Ian (sledg) - you obviously have a small penis and problems with your penis. you probably sneak rufies into little boys drinks and fuck them and leave them in the middle of the park. You are envious of emo because at least those guys get girls.
all the others - you dont have anything better to do then to teAm up against me on some internet sight? you are all going to hell!
God knows what all of your hearts look like!
feel the (trumpet) love.
So today, I had an almost-uncontrollable urge to hit a man, square in the grill. It goes like this:I brought my iPod to work today, as most of it would be spent looking over code, getting familiar with the coding standards of my department. My fellow intern sees this, says "hey, that's a good idea" and goes to his car and gets his walkman. He also grabs a (somewhat) giant bag of "snacks."
Upon his return, he offers me some some of his "snacks" -- I graciously accept a rice krispy treat.
Then, it starts.
He puts on his headphones, takes 10 minutes to find a "good" station, then cranks the shit out of the volume. I'm listening to my music quietly, as something to break up the strange silence that came over the office today. He then digs into his bag of "snacks" and pulls out a pudding cup (chocolate) and eats it in three bites (by my corner-of-my-eye estimation). Then, not 10 minutes later, he pulls out another. He eats it. Then, in about 5 minutes, another. All while staring at his monitor.
Listening to LOUD music (I can't actually make out any songs at this point) and having eaten three pudding cups (chocolate), he pulls some yogurt out of his "snack" bag. At this point, I'm thinking he must be fucking with me. That much non-solid food in that short of a timespan -- it has to be a joke -- right?
wrong.
he polishes that off, then pulls out a handfull of tootsie pops. what flavour, you might ask? Why chocolate, of course.
He starts by sucking on one for awhile, but loses his motivation and procedes to molar-bite into it. This gnashing and the crunching must have been too loud for him to hear his music, so he cranks it up again.
By the looks of his pile of tootsie pops, he must have had five or six. The next hour and a half was spent listening to him suck off these tootsie pops with his headphones blaring. At this point, I can actually hear words to the songs OVER my headphones, intermixed with loud crunches.
"We've got to hold on to what we've got"
CRUNCH CRUNCH
"'Cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot for love."
CRUNCH BITE
"We'll give it a shot.
We're half way there"
CRUNCH SMACK CRUNCH
"Livin' on a prayer"
FUCK ME. I couldn't help but laugh.
On a side note, I've tried to ban this new character "Emily" a bunch of times. She must be smart, or know someone who is, because every time I try banning her, her IP changes. Last night, in fact, I banned her most current IP, which I didn't really pay attention to and ended up locking myself out of the site. She made her comment posts look like they were coming from my computer. This girl is scary. Don't e-mail her -- I imagine that's how she got my IP, steer clear of her for the time being.
On another side note, Emily, fuck off, I'll get you, you wait and see.
him: "What are you going to do to day"
me: "I wanna do some reading"
him: "dude, books are gay."
me: "are you being serious?"
him: "yeah, there's like no pictures"
me: "you have to be kidding me"
him "it's the 2000s dude, books are worthless"
wow.
we're still officially on active duty orders until tomorrow at like 1700h, so i have to go back in to do one more full day of work for uncle sam. then right after i jump into my car and drive down to the valley. the boy is there right now, but only until sunday afternoon, when he flies out, so depending on how fast i drive, i might get a whole 12 hours with him... let's hope there aren't many cops out tomorrow. i'm so so glad i'm gonna get to spend some time with him, but so so frustrated that it's such a short time. we have the worst luck when it comes to geographical location. por ejemplo, i left for idaho on the 11th and am done the 25th... he's been in the valley since the 14th and leaves the 26th. does someone up there hate me? did i do something terribly wrong? because for whatever reason, we can never manage to be in the same place for very long. it makes it very difficult to get any sort of relationship going under circumstances such as these....
alright, i'm gonna go shower and get out of this damn uniform. i do not enjoy wearing green/brown/black all the time. color, people, why can't we have some color in the army? oh well. i'll live.
always.....
"No.
They all share one."
As it turns out, people have been sending me mail even before I was given access to it. The first hour of the day was spent reading through about 30-odd e-mails, sorting out all the different info. My first day and I already attended four different meetings. Seems a bit counterproductive if you ask me, but I had a blast.
It looks to be a pretty amazing summer. I am so very tired. I never knew that a nine-hour shift could take so much out of me. I did read, highlight and annotate over 75 pages of backend architecture documents, but for some reason, that doesn't comfort me -- if anything, it makes me feel like even more of a wiener.
But, the most amazing thing occurred to me -- I was in one of the larger conference rooms in our building, meeting with some of the senior designers. They decided, for the sake of the two interns present, to go around and talk about what each person did. It came my turn, I looked at my boss, he gave me the "show them your shit" look and I started talking about my project plan for the summer.
"I'm going to be working with the .NET system developing a system of automated tests and determining whether it will be worthwhile to invest in the technology on a wide scale. I will also be working to revise and redesign the internal standards documents..."
then it hits me: what the fuck happened to my childhood.
No joke, I paused for a mere second and thought about running through the woods with Sean when I was 11, twigs in hand, imagining they were giant M16s, cutting through he foliage with our armor-piercing tracer bullets.
pow-pow, I snap back into it.
"based on research and some experimentation. Finally, I will be documenting my methods of attack for regression testing for both development and QA. Oh, and my name is Eric."
Weird.
Anyway, I'm tired and have 100 pages left of "The Fountainhead" -- I'm bound and determined to finish it.
I love you all. I'll try to take some pictures tomorrow.
//EDIT: I'm thinking of having new EdO tryouts, so if you're interested in posting -- leave a comment
//BLOGPLUG: ms. sarah jane cutsforth -- my favourite cyclops.
First day: done, complete with goofy-ass picture ID.
Not quite what I had expected, but amazing nonetheless.I woke up around 6:30a.m., just to ensure that I was fully awake by the time I rolled into work. I had planned to go to bed around midnight, but that didn't happen. The site ended up coming back online around 12:15, so I spent some time doing some tweaking so that the spam-overload wouldn't happen again.
Anyway, woke up, showered, got dressed in my finery and headed to work, which took all of 7 minutes. I love living close to work.
Most of the day was spent getting all the interns on board. They had presentations on harassment, acceptable use as well as motivational speeches and talks about the history of the company. We filled out all of the paperwork as a group then broke for lunch with our respective managers.
My manager is really cool, and we all know how harsh of a judge of character I can be. He's an OSU alum, so we shot the shit about the beavs and talked about nerdy stuff as well. Cool shit.
Turns out there were over 12,000 applicants and only 140 got accepted for all the positions (marketing, buisiness, design, IT, etc) -- that made me feel pretty special. I felt really special when I got my name-badge with my picture on it, as well as (what I think to be) an RFID tracking tag. scary.
I'm going to be working in the same building as the CEO of the company. One floor below. Pretty crazy stuff.
But yeah, the first day was just an overview of the company, we didn't even really talk about what we'd be doing. I felt like I've been a little bit brainwashed -- I had such harsh perceptions of the company, but in reviewing the motivations of the founders, I found myself kind of inspired. Plus, they gave me some free swag. Can't beat that.
my *real* first day starts tomorrow -- more to come as it unfolds. I love you all...
Also, comments should be back up -- comment the shit out of the site.
But, for the time being, comments are down. If you have something urgent to say, e-mail me: immortal@XXXendysis.org (remove the XXX).
Also, I start work tomorrow. More about that when I get home.
I love you all.
So, I'm here in Beaverton. I feel oh-so-out-of-place, but it's getting better. The traffic and the seemingly fast pace of everything has been a bit tough to adjust to -- I'm just a small-town boy.
I arrived on Tuesday. I made two trips from Corvallis, hauling my stuff. I didn't bring much, but just enough to warrant two trips. I had to unload and unpack everything by myself. I was so very sore the next day -- carrying my futon by myself was pretty tough. But yeah, I'm moved in. My room is furnished, but that's about it -- the rest of the house is pretty empty on account of my soon-to-be roommate Paul (same roommate from Corvallis) taking a week-long vacation to Texas. He'll be back tomorrow, thank goodness.
I've been cooped up for the majority of my time here, brushing up on my programming for my job (which is start on Tuesday). I wanted to get a little more experience with more complex Java GUIs (more complex than the trivial apps I have to develop at school) as well as doing some database work with Hibernate. I've only had minimal experience working with Java and Hibernate -- The Object-Oriented / Relational gap has always kind of confused me.
So, I thought up an application I could write to help me hone my skills as well as be kind of cool, thus HaiGen (lame name, I know) was born. It's a random Haiku poem generator. It takes a haiku as an input, parses it and inserts it into a database (only local at the time), then, using some simple random-number generation and retrieval, it was throw different lines together. Not too complicated, but definitely fun.
Night have been spent indoors and nights have been spent on the town. I've been catching up with friends I've neglected during the school year. It's been fun.
I hung out with Sledg last night. He's a mere 15 minutes away from me. We hung out at his place for awhile before going to "The Starlight" -- one of the funniest / saddest / coolest bars I've ever been to. A total middle-aged afair, we stuck out like a sore thumb, but noone seemed to care. An equal ratio of middle-aged white women and black men, there was a funk band playing and everyone was having such a good time. I couldn't help but smile while I sipped my drink. Really, you had to be there -- it was uncanny.
then, I drove home.
this summer looks to be quite the adventure. More to come as it happens. I love you all.
-co-worker's backpack filled with a bunch of cd's and cell phone and other shit was stolen from the break room, we think while we were cleaning up the vomit.
-Car crash in front of the theatre
-car on fire in front of the theatre (not related to crash)
-Earlier in the day, somone was passed out in the theater and wouldn't wake up after i tried to wake him four times. I had on e of my managers call the police and it turned out he was just a drunk. But i thought he was dead or something.
Oh, and keep in mind that while all this shit was going on, the FIRST DAY guy was holding down the fort, fucking shit up bigtime.
I HATE MOVIE THEATERS AND I HATE PEOPLE!!!!
read the memo at http://www.downingstreetmemo.com and find the address of your represenatives in congress at http://www.congress.org the democratic congressmen and women had a meeting today regarding this, pushed out of the way in a room below congress while the republican congress members schedualed 11 very important votes knowing full well they would not have the usual democratic opposition. republicans are not adressing nor denying this issue, if the american people are not outraged by this then something is wrong and we deserve the consequences of not holding the president accountable, of allowing him to lie to congress, to our soilders, their famalies, and each and every one of us. we are paying for this lie with the lives of our loved ones and innocent civilians abroad.
The second I walked in, there were two foxy tattooed chicks stripping to BROKEN GLASS by the MURDER CITY DEVILS. I knew I was home. This strippers were damn hot. And the drinks were the cheapest Ive found in Portland so far. The one downside is that it is on the other side of the burnside bridge, which means a long walk from home.
I LOVE STRIPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE PBR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE MURDER CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On another note-
My girlfriend adopted a kitten from the Humane Society. I wanted to name it Quequeg but she wanted to name it Fred, the name it had at the humane society. We came to a compromise that I'll call it Jeff and she'll call it Jeffrey. I then asked if I could call it Jel, and she said that Im a stupid idiot. Now if it would just go to sleep, everthing would be ok.
Ps. I know im starting to brainwash my girlfriend with Mike Patton, because last night "Sex(Im A)" by Berlin came on, and she asked if it had been covered by Mike Patton. Which for you retards it was covered on the album LOVAGE - MUSIC TO MAKE LOVE TO YOUR OLD LADY BY...., and was a collaboration with Dan the Automator. I was a very proud boyfriend/Mike Patton fanboy.
everyone please go to http://www.downingstreetmemo.com, read it and sign the petition, write your representative, do something! bush lied to congress, he lied to the american people, he lied to the world, we need to demand a statement from the white house on this memo, if it is true, like the uk says, its grounds for impeachment, but wait a minute? anyone seen any media coverage on this topic? humm i wonder why.... today was the first time i ever heard cnn or any major news media source bring it up, and it was because of the petition at the above site, we can not accept such a egotistical liar in the white house, he is a danger to our civil and basic human rights. stop regression...
My new best friend.
I've had four days to pack up the stuff in my room and I've managed to save it until the very end. All that is left, at the moment, in the main part of my bedroom is my desk (with computer) and my futon (minus frame) as well as my wall decorations.I'm gonna try to live really, really simply. Not that I don't already, but really, all I'm taking up to Beaverton for the summer is my bed, desk, computer, clothes and a few books. oh, and my four guitars, I don't feel same leaving them here.
the rest of my junk, is going to stay here. my extensive t-shirt collection remains, along with lots of other little "stuff" that I really can't justify taking with me. I threw away a lot of stuff.
I'm scared. I'm not going to lie. It's not that beaverton is a huge city, but everything coming together so smoothly kind of has me freaked. I applied for the job with the shoe giant on a whim and ended up getting it. I put off finding an apartment until 5 days ago, and much to my chagrin, found a very nice place with little effort.
I've been spending days inside, feigning packing and productivity. I've been spending nights drinking good beer, hanging out with a gorgious girl. I'm just enjoying the sudden slow-down that this town has gone through, as well as myself. From 60 to 0 in a matter of moments. It's not that I'm lazy, I just need a rest from the breakneck speed I've become accustomed to.
I broke my trackrecord. I've had a 4.0 for the last year and a term, but this time around, I got an A- in my Operating Systems II class. Bullshit. Not that I can really complain, but it does kinda sting. I gave it my best though. Oh well.
So yeah, tomorrow, I will get up early, pack my pickup and make the trek up to Beaverton. Wish me luck. I'm not sure when I'll be getting an internet connection again -- I love you all, for serious.
Three reasons I can't wait to come home to ye ol' Oregon:
1. Daria
2. Endysis crew
3. Pelican
August, 13 2005 at Sabala's Mt Tabor Pub
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Portland, OR 97201
Cost: $10 adv / $12 day of show
w/ Big Business, Red Sparowes. 21+
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
but now i have changed my mind, here it is: I like pizza, And cheese. And pissa. Rock to the rock. Peizza man.. ersd,sdf snow men climb in the slnow like bif fat giants. I then I tried to stop him and no, no. no nothing. Then the music started to play. Like a tom carrey show. And the croud got ready. And Ate pizza. More and more of it untiol they all went into the small recesses of their mindual corders, to find the root of the pizza sensor. A ball or nurons and nuron orocessors, all tied into the the all or you that feels stuff. And it searched. Spilunking into all that fells this, this love. Specticles in hand and balsa inthier back pocket. Taking notes. And imagining experiment results. And he eats it. Waves of heat come running thorough his body. A wave of reaction, refilling, stimulation, of pepperonis. The full moon peaks and summer begins.
i was high. i also want to comment on extreams. i hit a lot of extreams these days. thinking about stuff in a way that everything is perfect. so very perfect. the ultra positive. then i will fall to an extream negetive where i am horrible and the things i do will spiral into the worst out come, and leave people thinking the angry and disliking things about me. extreams. and i was thinking that the world is hiting extreams too. with politics and evil. You can find a picture of you house from satalite on the internet. can pay to use these satalites. extreams. i like my extreams becaue i get to feel the extream good but the bad isnt so good. i wonder if i would be more happy if i lived in the middle ground or if getting to feel both sides of the scale is good. maybe when i feel both sides i hit levels of above and below 100 percent. if you know what i mean.
Sledg Brian Brainerd
Feb. 26 1983
On-field Nemesis: High School Kids
On-field Bitch: [e]
Hobbies: Medieval Metal, Red Cocaine, Hot Tits, inventing Slang, Cigerettes, Rothschild 100 proof Vodka
"I just invented a new term yesterday while I was looking at sculptures in the PSU art building, and it's 'Those are some HOT TITS.'"
Pet Peeves: Emo, Krumping, All people, technology, Money
"Emo chicks are fat, Emo dudes are pussies, and they both have dumb haircuts."
Ambition: To be the first man to either kill everybody or the first to fuck everybody (except those disgusting Emo kids)
Personal Quote: "I met Mike Patton."
Here's what I propose, a new genre of rock: HEROrock (one word, to the dome!)
Nominees: The Fucking Champs, Trans Am, The Oxes, Big Business, The Advantage, Lightning Bolt, Thrones, Doom Riders, (not Dragon Force), High On Fire, Smoke & Smoke, etc.
Discuss . . . . . . .
p.s. Dose One likes Metallica, more on this later . . . . .
BUT, i truly believe that i've made up for it in the last three nights.
Warning: drunk update
Thursday night:
the family
Final edition of the paper. Sad day. Actually, it wasn't really that sad, it was quite anticlimactic. I layed out my pages, made my final edits and went home. I took a nap. Then, at 9:30, i got a call from the managing editor that we were going to be meeting, as a staff, at the Crowbar (neat-ass bar) for some drinks. I called my editor to see if this was legit and he told me yes, that a we were meeting up for a quick drink to celebrate the end of an era.
he emphasized that it was only one quick drink, that he, along with others, had much to do the following day. I also, had much to do.
my rock and roll counterpart in an alternate universe.
But, one drink quickly turned into many, and within 30 minutes, much of the staff was drunk. The best thing about getting drunk with newspaper workers are the stories. Everyone has amazing memories. The photo department was also there, cameras in hand to document the event. The results were amazing.
I ended up walking home (21 blocks), drunk as fuck, to a nice cozy bed.
by the way, menos el oso is fucking amazing.
Friday night
the stages.
Battle of the fucking Bands. My favorite event of the year. Not because I enjoy the bands, but it is the one event that brings everyone out of the woodwork. Fratboys unite with hippies, jocks unite with the skaters -- EVERYONE shows up for the event.
anyway, I was one of the judges for the show, so I was there, in the middle of a sea of people, on a majestical pedistal, pen in hand, documenting every slight nuance of the bands.
one of the organizers of the show, the beautiful ms. christina, gave us a healthy supply of Red Bull. I enjoyed that. She also gave me her pink Nalgene full of 'water' -- I explained that i had my own water, but she winked at me, set the bottle down and walked away.
it was filled with vodka.
amazing.
i proceded to get *totally* drunk -- I don't think i've had so much fun in all of the four years i've been here.
The rest of the evening was spent walking from place to place, imbibing more and more booze, enjoying the joy that comes from finishing yet another year of school.
saturday night
god damn, i'm awesome
cocktail party. i got drunk with a gorgeous girl. simply amazing. again, i walked home narly 20 blocks, but this time, i was wearing some jazzy dress-shoes. my feet hurt.
i love you all.