So i have been in vietnam for over a month now. bad and good things have happened to me. I love it here, but i wonder if after more time i will find it to be a rude, dishonest, greedy place. Its hard not to eventually fall back to your own culture. it is what your were raised with and it is what feels right. I want to stay long enought to find out what i think of this place.
I am planning to go back to saigon (ho chi minh city) and see about a girl. I dont have a whole lot of reason to think things will work out but i feel something in my heart and i hope for the best. (of course i try not to hope too hard because i know with girls its best not to give a fuck, oh so complicated, but deep down im hopeing). I will look for a job there too I think. here in hanoi there is a cool hostel with job openings and it seems like a fun playboy life. but i dont think that is right for me and i dont like hanoi because i have been robbed and ripped off too much. I may find the same in saigon i dont know.
In my mind im throwing around 3 ideas for a long period of travel. work in vietnam or cambodia or somewhere at a hostel or teaching english. or trying to get my working holiday visa for australia (or work as an illegal for a lot less). or voulenteering on a farm in south america. i think the third choice is more what i have expected from my life and fits me. I want to learn to farm and i think it is an honorabe life and career. but at the same time i think i want to me here, and maybe the farm is for later. so hard to know what is right. deep down my heart says farm but also im following my heart in going to saigon.
I guess we will see. I was talking with a wonderful woman today named tea. (tei i think). she is very nice. married and has a 18 month child. she wants to move from hanoi. to get a better job someplace more quiet and with more pay. but her husband says no. she has asked him more than 20 times. she wants to travel i can see. and i can tell she would be able to. but its different here in vietnam. the man is in charge. it is not right. she deserves more but she may not get it. In my mind i feel bad, not because of her situation, but because she made the decisions to get her to where she is at. she is at fault even thought she does not choose where she is born or how she grew up. I do not want to one day regret the choices i have made to get to where i then stand....or now stand. life is fucking quick. i am 29. i am happy. but i am as always lost. but what is that phrase, not all who wander are lost. my buddy jazza has it tatooed on his side. its true. this is not my tune but its mine to use.