Ive started saying something to people since Ive been back in this turd hole of a town, in place of "Seeya later""Bye Bye""Goodbye", etc. I now leave people with "Seeya on MYSPACE!" Seriously, I guess it could be every where else too, but, this town is redficulously over run by myspacers. All of whom have looked at my profile. If I have one more person who I haven't met, walk up to me and greet me as if we know each other, "HEY I.B. Bangin'!", Im gonna give them the poison eye. Anyhow......
It's been awhile. I have been quite busy. Ive been slangi'n pizzas and getting wasted everyday. Thats about it really. Ive become so prolific, in the short time ive been here, that there are already rumors flying around town about me. Ashland = Myspace = High School.
So Friday:
Worked at Giseppi's untill 8pm. Got off, and went to Wispy's House. Before I got there however, I stopped at the 7-11 to buy Pabst and see myspace friend Tim, who I didnt even say anything to. Get to Wispy's, and he gets home from drinking 40's at the HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION. We listen to Big Business , drink PBR, and play W.O.R.M.S.. We then get dressed up to go to a "Barn Party", which is in a house. We stumble over there at about 10pm. We find two kegs waiting for us and about 15 people at the party. We drink lots of Beers and get rediculously slobbery. At midnight we (Plus Rabbo) decide to head downtown to buy MC STAINS some 21st birthday drinks. Two girls from the party want to go also. As we are walking the few blocks to downtown, they both decide that they are cold and they want to wear part of my huge ass horse-blanket-made-into-ghetto-poncho. As there are two women on both sides, in very close proximity, and me being the slobbery drunk that I am. I put both my arms around them and walk through downtown like the pimp that I am. We get to the Creek, see Tallon, go inside talk to Jordan. Get more wasted, and I walk up to the bathroom. Im waiting in line at the mens room when this guy turns towards me. Here is our exchange:
Guy"HEY!!"
IB BANGIN "Uh, hey."
G "I saw you walking through town just now!"
I "Uh, yeah, probably like, a half hour ago or so?"
G "Yeah MAN! And you had these two hot ladies in your arms!"
I "Oh uh yeah. Umm they are down at the bar if you want to talk to them."
G "OH MAN, You're AAAAWESOME!"
Then I went to the bathroom. I was afraid he was going to try to suck my cock or something, so I propped my foot against the door as I went piss and held my pancho up. We then split, and walk back to the party. All that is pretty much left is Irish Pat, Elizabeth, Tiffany, Tara, Jenna, Sarah, a few unknown people, and Aaron Boyer (who might be the last one in Ash-Town without myspace). We did keg stands and talked tomfoolery.
We pass out at about 5:30am. I wake up at about 7am to sharing a bed with Tiffany, Pat, and 3 dogs. Pat has got his arms around me. Tiff has her arms around me. A little Jack Russel is sleeping on my junk under the covers, and there are two big dogs at the foot of the bed. There is also a futon in this room where there was a couple. And they were full on getting it on. I felt like I was in a PSA or something. You know the ones that over exagerate all houses where people are drinking or smoking weed into crack houses. Yep. I fell back to sleep. We awoke at nine am on Sat. morning to the FEDEX man dropping off a package. We open it to find two cow costumes. Of course me and Pat put them on and drank more beer. These were the kind of cow suits that even include udders. Pat found a skate board in the front yard and decided to glide up and down the street drinking beer, playing his guitar, in the cow suit, waving at cars. I had my hero for the week. Being wasted at 9am is weird.
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