graduation was yesterday. as of now i am officially a graduate of pacific university. i have a college degree (no white slip in that folder for me!) and am ready to head out into the world to become a real person. ha! not likely....
it was a weird day. similar to high school graduation in that i had a really hard time taking it totally seriously. i mean, yeah, we're at graduation, but it just doesn't seem like the big a deal it gets built up to be when you're there, sitting, waiting, listening... or maybe that's just me.
immediately following graduation my roommate and i walked outsite to get leied by so many of his hawai'ian relatives, and to retreive the bottle of champagne from the car. we popped that and i proceeded to walk around with it, taking swigs from the bottle for the rest of the time we were there. apparently it was amusing, because quite a few of the professional photographers who walk around taking shots at these things wanted pictures of me and whoever was there with the bottle in the picture.
i saw brian. first time since we broke up. he gave me a hug, told me he missed me, asked why i hadn't been hanging out... he doesn't get it. i'm not ready to be his friend yet. then one of the damn picture ladies walked up and said "can i take your guys' picture!" what am i supposed to say, 'no, please don't '? so she took it.... funny that the only picture that exists of brian and i was taken post-breakup.
our president caught me on campus with my bottle o' booze. he laughed at me, gave me a hug, and told me to have a good afternoon. ha! i love dr. phil...
then it was an afternoon of families and food at our apt. my two rommates and i decided to play it low-key for the day and rather than renting out some room and doing catering and whatnot, we just used the clubhouse at our apt. it was chill, very nice, very little drama.
last night there was craziness, simply because i had a panic attack like none other. i don't know what brought it on, but it was actually pretty scary. i had to leave the restaurant my family and i were at because i honestly thought i was going to lose it right then and there. luckily, i held it together long enough to get to my car. a phone call home to sarah so i could freak out to her (about what, i don't know, i just had to freak out) helped calm me down enough to change, compose myself, then head to the bar to see my friends.
sadly, last night was the last night i'll see a few of those people. this is a lot harder to process than high school graduation, simply because at least there i knew we all had the rogue valley as this common connection. we'd all be at home at some point, during christmas or summer, and we could all hang out then. now... a lot of my people are going who knows where, different states for grad school, fulbrights abroad, peace corps.... it's weird to think that i won't be spending time with these kids. they're a big part of my life here.
so now... what??? dunno. i'm finished with college, though, so i guess that's something.....
always.....
But seriously, congrats, lil' Debbie. You're an all-star. Don't forget that.
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