8:00am - Alarm goes off - Snooze button
8:09am - Ditto
8:18am - Ditto
8:27am - Ditton
8:36am - Ditoo
8:45am - Dittt
8:54am - Yep, Ditto
9:03am - Ditditdit
9:12am - DITTOOTOT
9:21am - (Rubs eyes, Squints) "FUCK!"
9:22am - Shower
9:26am - SLEDG: "Babe, where are all of the towels?"
Babe(awoken from slumber): "They are all dirty, you got jizz on all of them."
SLEDG: "FUCK!"
9:27am - Brushing Teeth, Bagel in Toaster, Searching for Textbook, Feeding Geoff... All while soaking wet.
9:28am - Wet feet slip on kitchen linolium, say "FUCK!"
9:35am - To the Computer lab.
9:40am - Computer lab full, "FUCK!"
9:45am - Get coffee, sit down in cafeteria, start studying notes.
9:47am - Notice coffee has leak, has been dripping on my pants for minutes, it looks like i pissed my pants with chocolate milk. "FUCK!"
10:00am - Try computer lab again, people waiting in a line for a computer. I look around and see about 15 kids just fuckin around on myspace. I walk over to one and ask them if I can use their computer because i'm stressin out and I need one. They apologize while I imagine pulling their guts out of their ass and chewing on them. Some kid comes over and says that he was next in line and I say "oh, Sorry." I remain at the computer.
11:05am - Realize that I forgot something I needed at home, which means I was losing my computer. "FUCK!"
11:53am - Eric calls and tries to act all cool and shit.
12:07pm - Sugarbutt awakens and I jizz all over her and all of the towels.
12:10pm - Say "FUCK IT" and just study my notes.
3:30pm - Stop studying and start making mixtapes.
4:45pm - Say "FUCK!" and go to class early to study.
5:17pm - The secret I had been trying so desperately to keep the whole term of course comes out during the last class: I am the brother of another kid in the class. Everyone keeps talking about how much it makes sense now that they know. I want to throw missles. "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!"
5:30pm - Popular Culture Final "FUCK!"
5:31pm - "FUCK!"
5:32pm - "FUCK!"
5:33pm - "wait a second.... this is kind of easy...."
6:30pm - Get done breezing through the final, turn it in, pick up my final paper I turned in the class before.
6:33pm - Stoked because I got 100%.
6:35pm - Perplexed because after reading back over my paper, I realize had accidently turned in my rough draft again, and apperently she didnt notice, despite sentence fragments, jibberish, made up words, etc.
6:37pm - Feeling that great last-day-of-school relief, walk home in the freezing cold.
6:41pm - Open the door to find the splintered remains of a wine glass that Geoff apperently knocked out of the cubbard.
"FUCK!"
9:17pm - I realize I change tense a lot when I write. "FUCK!"
PS: I swear this is the best thing ever. It makes me laugh. I dont even feel bad about it either.
PSS: Jim Varney is Alive and Partyin'!.
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