them: "aw naw, i jus' sol' that 'un"
Next time a car decides to expire on me, I think I'll just take myself out along with it because there is no hell like that of trying to find a suitable used car. I'd rather drink 10w40 and snap my fingernails off trying to get the frozen bolts out of my block than dry-call another person selling a car.
It all started a week ago. I was driving back from The Dalles, from a friend's birthday party. It was a warm day, I had my windows down and the stereo up. I was just getting into portland around 11:00pm when I hear a slight "tick-tick-tick." Being hypersensitive to my pickup's noises, I quickly let up on the gas and the noise stops. Thank goodness.
Then, I put the gas back on and it's about 2 times worse. And over the course of the next 5 minutes, it grows from a tiny noise to a monsterous BANG-BANG-BANG. The death rattle of my favourite vehicle to date. ugh.
I manged to get her home, but I could tell it was serious. I took her to the mechanic where my worst fears were validated: blown head gasket. $1100 to replace. I could do that. Wait, no, my head was warped. That requires new engine: $2500. uh, no thank you.
So, I decided to take my chances and try to find a suitable replacement. I scouredcraigslist , pdxforsale and the classifieds. Terrible. Here are my two mini-adventures our of my 5 attempts, both of which happen to be Jettas:
Make: JettaYear:1996
Price: $2000.
Features: "CLUTHC THAT DOESN'T SLIP!"
Facourite description line: "CALL ME RIGHT NOW"
A 1996 for $2000? It Seemed too good to be true.
It was.
I called this "kid" once, got his mom, who had to go track him down in their seemingly mansion-like home. As she yelled his name, I heard tons of doors opening and closing. There must have been liek 35 rooms in this house. weird.
Anyway, this hyper sounding kid (who can't be a day over 17) gets on the phone. He wants 2 grand, cash. I want to drive it. We set up a time and everything is gravy. We meet halfway, in a K*Mart parking lot. He had the biggest Slurpee I'd ever seen.
The car looked good, albeit a few scratches. The tires were shot but the interior was clean. I got in and started driving.
The first thing I notice? THE CLUTCH, WHICH HAPPENS TO BE SLIPPING.
I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. When asked about it, the kid said "oh, that's how Jettas drive"
Make: JettaYear:1988
Price: $2000.
Features: 17 inch rims, suspension, ramair intake and flowmaster exhaust, euro bumpers and grill, pis fog lamps, newly replaced interior, new brakes
Facourite description line: "f-ing amazng deal!!!!!!!!"
So, I called these people 3 times before I got a call back nearly 3 days later. It was still availiable. 100k miles. New engine, interior and tranny. Looked DAMN promising. I set up an time to drive it and find a ride to Sherwood through the country (this fact becomes importland later). First thing I see is the car, parked crooked in the street with a spare tire on. I knock on the door and noone answers. I call the number I have. No answer. I wait around 10 minutes and finally get a call.
Their excuse, I shit you not: "My mom is real old and her goat died so I had to run some errands for her"
Turns out the car is missing one of the 17" rims (WTF?!). It has a wrecked title(WTF?!). The tires are worn to shit (strange wear patterns, I suspect a bent frame). Most importantly is how the car sounds. If you somehow magically hooked up a coffee can to a blender so that it would spin real quick but did it poorly so it was very off balanced then put rocks in it and turned it on, that's about how it sounded. It seemed like there was absolutly no oil in the car. I didn't even drive it. I was scared.
I decided to pass on this one and took the girl driving me around out for a few drinks.
Funny thing, on the way back from Sherwood, I spot an Explorer parked on the side of the road, obviously for sale. It's about 10pm at this point and I decide to have her pull over. I look it over, call the number, the guy comes down, we talk, I drive, things are good, I whip out my wad of cash and pay in full. It hadn't been out there more than two hours. I was the eigth person to call and the third to test drive.
My birthday present to myself. Word.
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