ironically enough, my roommate and i decided to watch a movie tonight. we settled on 'wag the dog'. and entertaining flik, sort of thought provoking in that 'i really don't want to think too much about this movie because it will probably just depress me once i realize it could quite possibly hold some merit.' and then, immediately after, we watched 'control room'. it is, by far, one of the most interesting, depressing films i've seen in quite awhile.
i watched this and i just got so mad. because all i could think of was how many people have died, on both sides, and for what? when al jazeera showed the footage of the american pow's and they asked them "why are you here in iraq?" the three of them said "because i follow orders" or some other such answer. and i know, i know, they're in the military, they're just government pawns, blah blah blah. say what you want, but it's not always so simple. take me, for example. yes, i am in the military. yes, i chose to be there. why? because i go to a fucking expensive school and need all the help financially i can get. because i joined the national guard, where we are supposed to focus our efforts on the homefront, our homestate. not get shipped overseas to aid in a war that we should be nowhere near. i didn't sign up to do that. i didn't sign up to go over to the 'the big sandbox'.... putting out forest fires and filling sandbags for floods, that's what the guard is supposed to do. help in times of natural disaster here on our soil. and yes, i know, it's my own damn fault that i'm in, i signed, no one forced me to, yes yes YES, i KNOW! but so many of the people who are in the military are there because it was their last resort. i met so many people in training who seriously had nothing left. the army, well it's a good deal for those people. they pay you to go to school, to learn a trade and get started in a career path, they offer benefits and job security... please don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to go on a campaign trail in support of the army. but from the inside it looks a little different.
i hate this war. i hate that i might have to be a part of it. i guess i already am. i really don't know what the point of this post is at all. but watching that documentary just hit me... i guess in a way it wouldn't hit most everyone else. watch it. it's good.
always.....
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