i could talk about spain a bit. granada being an awesome place. and wondering up a mountian today and the awesomeness of a gypse atmosphere. but i wont.
last night we hung out with so us exchange students. we went to a college party. there were about 1000 people in a huge croud on the street drinking. there was a cop watching this. it felt like a high school party but was very cool . then we went back to this dude levi´s place. a very cool guy. piscies. and me and scott had a little three some with a girl named amanda. gemini.
now wait a second this is still jon raby here.
neither of us fucked her. and i am curious of who was in control of all of this. scott or amanda. not me. but bascially it was a weird experience. it was 6 in the morning by now too. very drunk. i dont really know what to think about all of this. it was cool, but bad at the same time. carthatic i guess.
i never told you guys but i lost my virginity to some friend of t-roc´s girlfreind. my last night in ashland . i assume you know that tallon. but maybe not.
it was really not good. i was not attracted to her. and i find, as i found here, that sex can be very hard, (unless i supose it is so perfect that it is not). we ended up sharing the depression of our lives with eachother. her name was anna. and the night can only be sumed up as carthatic as well. i revealed to her parts of my life that had not yet been revelied. and it was a challenge to look past any bad of the night and see the good.
it is amazing how much of a challenge this sex and love shit is. you all know. i generally tend to think it is harder for me. but it is just uniquely different for me.
today was the first day i actually missed home. i had expected homesickness to come earler, and be stronger. but truthfully it made me happy to miss home. to miss my mom and my dad. to miss my friends.
i had focused and expected fear from this feeling for so long. but it was good. this is good.
in itallian they say.
well i had better go before i start crying. no.
i love you. specifically.
jon r
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