secretly, deeply

Do you think we all know.

In this time of lies and power mongers, our brains live in constant confusion.

But secretly, deeply within ourselves don’t we know the truth.

When we want revenge, don’t we know what that will bring.

When we feel need, hatred, superiority, and greed, isn’t there something else we are looking for.

Do not we know something about ourselves, that we cannot speak.

That can only be felt, breathing into our hearts.

For me this truth brings tears to my eyes. I do not know why.

I have felt it for a long time. Some thought would spark in me and I would loose track of my thoughts for a second, jumping from one conclusion to another before each could be pondered, by my brain.

Then my train of ideas would collide with my heart and an outpour of emotion would crash through my body. I would kind of shrivel up and my face would cringe with a tear.

As a kid I always loved this feeling, though it was usually accompanied with sadness. Later, maybe in high school or even later, I would question the validity of this outpour, asking myself, “why should I love this sadness?” and insecurely “where will I end up loving this sadness?”

Then the feeling would occur less often. And for less of a period of time. Until I almost forgot about it.

Within the last year it has re-membered, and I have reacquired this deep feeling again. Having it now and again, but not as often as when I was a kid. It is a time when I am not grounded to reality. Much of the time it happens when I think of the possibilities, ones that seem unreachable on my current path in life, but what I feel as perfection in my path. Other times, such as a moment ago when I listened to a talk by a woman named Arundhati Roy, some words encourage me to see an obvious truth in this world, so simple, but overlooked by the confusion that runs rampant among our civilization.

She is the one who says, “Each person…surely knows, secretly, deeply…” As she speaks of war and vengeance.

Secretly, deeply.

jonR

Sunday 21 November 2004 at 8:45 pm

Five comments

This has got to be be the reason we're in the state that we are right now. It's easy to find illusions as quick and simple answers to our big problems, like elections.
There's not much more that you can do besides statying true to yourself and be aware that war hasn't really brought any good to the world - EVER.

On a lighter note, I saw A Perfect Circle T Shirt that said something along the lines of "I voted and all I got was this lousy T shirt and a DRAFT card."
too bad it was 30 fuckin' dollars.
Jeryl
Sunday 21 November 2004 at 8:45 pm
get a clue
snappy500
Sunday 21 November 2004 at 8:45 pm
Pro-drilling members of Congress plan to make drilling in the Arctic Refuge a
priority when Congress reconvenes in January 2005. The Bush administration
continues to push this unpopular initiative, despite the fact that drilling in
the Arctic Refuge would ruin this one-of-a-kind ecosystem for a miniscule amount
of oil and that a majority of the American people oppose drilling.

Call your Senators today and urge them to oppose oil and gas drilling in the
coastal plain of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. You can call the U.S.
Capitol Switchboard at 202-224-3121 to contact both of your Senators' offices.

Here's a sample message you can leave:

"Hi, my name is _____, and I'm calling from _______. I'm calling to urge you to
oppose oil and gas drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. I don't want
to see one of America's last wild places ruined for a miniscule amount of oil."
Mega Man 501
Sunday 21 November 2004 at 8:45 pm
oh cool. I'm pro drilling you know. I like to drill my self in the ass with my thumb and fore finger....or my dad's.
If you want leave me a message and i'll drill myself in the ass while i listen to it, then spit cum on the answering machine.
Manga Man 501's
Sunday 21 November 2004 at 8:45 pm
Thanks for the special work and information!
wilburn
Sunday 21 November 2004 at 8:45 pm

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