I have been doing a bit of thinking, and i don't want to drink the way i do now. I got really drunk the other night with my friend Jason, and with all of the memories of the evning i look back on, this took some delving into my blured mind let me tell you, i see a negetive light. I just don't like the images that i saw. So i want to change me drinking habits. I don't like drinking too much, and i don't like that i need to drink to relax in social setting, so these two things i will work on. I post this information to you guys because for me it makes my wants more solid. So that others will know if i am failing, doing good, or have just disregaurede what what i am feeling now. Already i can feel my want to change fading. Maybe it will disappear, maybe it wont. But two nights ago, i broke down and hit a spot i have never hit before, (truthfully i started crying in the shower, and i still not really sure why) and i said this is not what i want for my life. If i don't listen to myself now, it will take a stronger punch in the gut to wake me up next time. To reach that part of my self.
Well besides all of this stuff that may seem sad, things are good. I am eating some patato soup now, and i put way too much pepper in it, White Pepper, Oh Snap. It burns.
Mike
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