this time next week the play will be over. thank god. i loved acting in high school. i lived for each new play we would do. and now i'm dreading it. i miss my light booth, i miss being able to talk shit over the headset. perhaps it was the people i loved in high school, i don't know. all i do know is that i might be done once this show is over.
and i have to wear a stupid ass hat. ugh. he walked me up to my room last night. sat on the couch while i cleaned off my bed and got ready to go to sleep. then we just layed there for awhile, nothing doing anything, just talking. i don't even know how long he was in the room, don't know how late it was when i finally fell asleep. i woke up when he got up and said something to me, i don't know what it was. then he said "goodnight sweetheart" and left the room. and for a couple of minutes i almost fooled myself into thinking that this was something completely normal, that it could be like this every night. but it can't. because he's got her, or she has him, or they have each other, and once again i'm left to watch it work out for someone else.
it's a terrible curse, wanting things you can't have.
always.....
Comments