I know that trends can get a little bit tricky to follow. i know that it's hard to keep up with the trends. It's especially difficult to remember all these radical new artists (often called "rappers" by cool kids [i know because a cool kid told me]). So, since i know lots and lots about the true/realist rap scene, i thought i'd drop the science in a segment i like to call "HOOKED-ON-HIP-HOP"

this week, we have Aftermath records. The record company itself is like a goldmine. lots of money to be made from selling the h4wth4wt new songs. It's tricky to remember who's hot and who's not, so i have devised a method to help you all:

think of it like a kingdom, the aftermath kingdom.

every kingdom has a king, and in aftermath kingdom's case, that would be Dr. Dre. He's not really a doctor, but he sure is a king when it comes to droppin' ill rhymes. He's pretty old, and i heard he has a throne made out of platinum records, again, my sources are pretty correct, the cool kids usually know the truth.

being a king is risky buisiness, and mr. dre knows to cover his ass from the haters. that's why he enlisted Lord Mathers, the feirce general known on the battlefield for his lionlike tenacity and voraciousness. He is the leader of a might pack of savage men called D12, who are capable of blowing your socks off your feet into your mouth.

FEAR THE D12


Mr. Dre is a smart man, but he's not capable of knowning everything, that's why he enlisted the powers of the powerful gypsy known as "eve." she has the uncanny ability to explain the future and peak into the hearts of men using magic/ sorcery ALL while dropping ill rhymes. MOUNT UP.

Eve can predict the future of the land of illrhymes, but Dr King Dre needs to be able to control things. things being his people, the weather, the temperature of his feet. That's why he keeps the magical magic wizard 50-CENT around. 50 cent is the prize of the land of aftermath. a powerfull wizard capable of slaying men with words and intense stares. He is also the commander of a fierce group of undead soldiers known as the mighty G-UNIT. i heard from that same friend that the g stands for "GODDAMNWEREAGREAT"

GGGG-UNIT


So, that's basically how aftermath records works. here's a quick rundown:

dre- king
eve- gypsy
mm- general
50- wizard.

now go out and impress your friends with your cool knowledge.

Aftermath Records

eric

Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am

61 comments

I feel so enlightened.
peachy
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
i think my friends would try to beat me up if i impressed them with my new knowledge of all things hip hop.
but thanks for the lesson.
phil
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
about the rundown u say. its degradin to mm. callin mm general is like askin who is a good artist these days, and mm is most definitely higher in the game than most artist. especially now that D12 just came out today which will blow up huge.
Cook
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
i just returned from Iraq, im stationed in Germany, i need a number or address to contact Dre's A@R Guy, we got hto Demo need to be heard!
john(Bamaboy)burnett
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
Where the fuck is E-40 you crazy cracker! Why don't you educate yourself Eric...two and a half words "SICK WIT IT" I'm out.
Levi
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
i have a demo which i want the aftermath members to hear cos its really def and i will like to call dre or any of u u can still call me on 234-8028603026
charles
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
got a hot demo from NOLA. Shermhigh, Blackbeard, and Philosophy.
if you get time to hear it you wont be disappointed. Shermhigh is a white boy from NOLA, Blackbeard is a Brutha from Philly, and Philosophy is a smart, philosophical brutha from NOLA.
Shermhigh
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
a philosophical brotha named philosophy...imagine that.
Levi
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
hey levi fuck u what the fuck u talk to aftermath like that betta lay ur ass down u punk
charles
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
ok you dumb fucks you do realize that this post is supposed to be funny, a joke, (im trying to use simple words here), this crap isnt exactly stuff we listen to, it's being made fun of, i dont think anyone on this site can get a demo to dr. dre or even gives a flying fuck about the guy, take your crappy "def", "hot", and "hto" demos and shove them up your asses, it will get you a lot farther then telling anyone on this site about them. Oh and charles aftermath is a joke, its a money making scheme that feeds off ingnorant fucks like yourself and all the rest of your "peeps" that never learned how to fully say / write words or grasp the concept that is grammer.
sarah
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
None of yall muthaphukaz better be disrespectin' my man Levi, he the baddest muthafucka I ever seen he can flow like nobodies business. When you disrespect my man Levi you disrespect me and everyone who lives by the word of aftermath, in short...shut the fuck up Charles.
Dr. Dre
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
I want the Game Dr.Dre to listen to my demo and see what they think about it. The Geme was in cincinnati looking for talented Rappers and I want to see what he thinks about me and my Music.
James L . Miller a.k.a. Millaboy
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
what up dre this is Tha Hustla and G-unit needs me to make the set comlete.The nigga from the north pole Young Rick wit the hottest shit underground I got me and 50, game, lloyd on songs toggther but couldnt get my nigga young buck but everybody love it halla at me 612-432 1960
Young Rick Tha Hustla
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
People who want to work with dr. dre obviously are not able to read, but are able to get their little sisters to transcibe their words onto the site. This is absolutely unbeleivable.
sledg
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
Hey, if anyone wants to send me a demo tape call the DEMO TAPE DIVISION of aftermath records:

612-432 1960

PS: Im only lookin for the hottest shit. halla
Dr. Dre
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
Dr.Dre and Rick tha Hustla have the same phone number...
Levi
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
hi my name is gabi...i am a rap artiest but i rap in arabic ...for the past 4 years i swithched to english...and dont get me wrong i am street and i do have game........anyways i been working in the studios in new york and i know i am about to sign a contract or something becouse i am working in one studio that they trying to tell me that i will make it in the busnies....no matter what i will finish my cd and show people what i got but no word of a liy since i started to understand english witch is since like 1992 i been a fan of dre...to be spesefic my dream is to work with dr.dre....so my thing is i am allready learning the 16 bars and all.......so why not work with dre...so how can i show dr.dre what i got.......please let me know
gabi
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
first of all gabi, you should learn how to spell
mass destruction
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
yO Yo yO gabi, what up. i really feel where you are coming from. let me break it down for you -- basically i have been hearing your name all over the streets of NYC and so i know you are for real. so the first step is like this: email me your sickest track to so my boy e can get me the track. you got to send it as a mp3 so i can download it.

the email address is right by my name on the bottom of dis post.

hook me up wit that track quick, cuz i got a bomb producer in mind for this one thing with you...

aiight gabi, i holla
dre
Dr. Dre
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
If Any 1 is listening. I Just want my demo to be heard thats all because i dont think im gone make it in sports because my coaches dont like me hater hating on me and everything i just want yall to hear my demo and see how i verbally attacks mcs and the people who tries to come at me just like 50 cent does and here my raps/freestyle mixtape Antifreeze please i know i got what it takes to sign with aftermath im only 16 and i wrote my own stuff trust me i write like grown men in da rap game. All im asking is for someone to heare my demo and see for yaselfs 4 real. My Number is 1-409-397-4339 Justin is da name A.K.A JakFrost and plenty mo.
Justin Ethridge A.K.A JakFrost
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
give my cousin a
call he can spit that ganters
rap. english or belizean yeah yeahhh
and also he been on mix tape whith game
go by the name shaka cantact 323 755 36 36 or 323 759 38 81
AB
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
this post and its responces goes right up there with krumping. i can forsee this going on for a while. PS. genious idea putting your number on the intenet, more so on a blog site for anyone to see. smart move :)
mc. rave music
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
this is for dr.dre or eminem. If either of u read this i just want to say i've been trying to find a way to get in touch w/shady/aftermath records to possibly send my man's demo to u. it's him and his boy. dre your beats r the hottest i've ever heard and i know that you wld definitly be interested in the beats on this demo. as far as lyrics my baby is hot on the mic. He's been writing since he was 12 but does not have the right contacts. He doesn't even know I've been trying to reach u. I figured if i cld get a response from u he wld be more than thrilled. He's out to sea right now. Yes he's military. Navy. he'll be back in a month so if there is anyone out there that can help me contact dre or em i wld be more than grateful.
thanks,
neek
monique
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
Monique tha Freak-
Give my office a Call, and we'll see what we can work out.

409-397-4339
Dr. Dre
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
are you kidding me??? this is not a contact page for dr.dre, jesus cant you people read???? nice try there "jakfrost" or whoever the hell you are, people amaze me sometimes...
sarah
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
oh, good times, good times.... people are so damn funny.
dk
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
sarah, don't be jealous of us talented folk...we be ruling this city like p-diddy!
rasheeda
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
"ruling this city, like P-diddy." wow, you guys really can rap! I'm gonna call Dre. asap.
Levi
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
levi, you are a chimo!
rasheeda
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
Rasheeda-

Your Skillz r hot. Give me a call, and maybe we can work something out.

323-755-3636
Dr. Dre
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
I'm a chimo, rhymo, chargin like a rhino, lets go-get flow in tha mornin' say HO!
Levi
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
Bootsee let me define it you can rewind it after I finish spittin'
Now I want you to tell me if you know somebody in yo town that fit the description
A sucka, a ignorant mothafucka
One of them show boatin' high sidin' want to get some attention type nagas
Just as flashy but bitches be askin me
If they can borrow a couple of bucks until tuesday
Pleases that man go say no man be tryin to play Captain Save A Hoe
Gettin marked by all them sneaky caniving ass set up hoes
You see bootsee is that ol' nigga with that ol' gold around his neck
Gold around his muthafuckin house, gold around his muthafuckin pet
Got everybody in the town thinkin' he sittin' nice on at least 20 ki's
But bootsee ain't movin nothin but half thangs
Straight fuckin with some of y'all niggas domes
Braggin and boastin, How can I make this shit look clean
Y'all really want to know who the man behind the fat sack well lookie here
Sho nuf ain't bootsee boss and thats for sure
Cuz bootsee be frontin himself off y'all niggas just don't know
The ones you least expect you know them square ass niggas in your city
They be the ones who have a grip , they be the ones who be sittin pretty
Instead of tryin to be super to start a fuckin track man
What a nigga really need to do is sit back and straight stack man
Cuz I've been on this Earth for 3 and some odd months man
Trippin off how these niggas out here be straight transforming
Laughing and smiling, loving and hugging a brother grinning
Turn around and talk behind your back the next minute
Bitch we call him bootsee
Chorus
Let me define it you can rewind it after I finish spittin
But what about bootsee
It be them bootsee muthafuckas in your town that's always game
It be them bootsee muthafuckas in your town that's always game
bootsee is that busta with in no gizame,
with in no gizame, with in no gizame
You's a loud talkin runnin off the mouth deeck
Wishy washy be puttin yourself on front street
Sloppy grindin, failizing, bitch buying pussy licka
That's what hella heads be sayin about that bootsee nigga
And ah
In case some of y'all ain't knowin this
Do to do almost anything to be noticed
Like ah
Pull out his whole bank account and dang near everything he owns
And ah
Tell everybody in the hood that he got a chip in his phone
And how the fuck you gone be about you scratch when you gossip like a
batch
And all them fools know where your stash be at
That ain't no sharp shit
Nigga that's that hoe shit
Potna just keep on doin what you do and watch your perv get peeled
Ridin around here loose stickin out dumb like a soar thumb
Nigga tell the truth
Don't have a gun but I need one
You want to come up quick in this old shit so you can get it
But how the fuck you gone make your revees givin out credit
To tweakers, droamers, drifters, leftovers, geekers, zombies
Folks that steal from they mommies
When I was doin my thang I had strategy main
Sellin' that æ?˜hite girl?you should have seen me main
You would have been proud of yo nigga cuz I was briliant wid it
I snuck in and snuck out without slippin in it
Get what you need out the game and sit your ass down
Invest your money in some thangs and start clockin' pal
Chorus
Charlie Hustle
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
fuck u sarah who the fuck u think u re u betta step outta line or i use u for break fast cos its instant i fuck bitches from distance ok peace
Charles seimode
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
charles -- we should network, i too "fuck bitches from distance"

ok peace
[e]
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
what's a chimo? i want to be one
mr. t
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
Esteban was bitten!?
lord bearded
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
thank you lord bearded for typing the funniest combination of words possible, given the current circumstances.

i feel dumb laughing by myself in front of a computer, but, you toy with my emotions so.
neal
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
YO IM LOOKING TOO GET IN CONTACT WITH DR. DER I GOT MAD RHYMES AND IM UNSTOPPABLE ON THE COURT EMAIL ME.

yo when i come dropin these rhymes you be like holla
i didnt go to no college i aint no scholar
but when i step out my bently
flash my rings
you gotta know im a baller
KrazyKatt
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
I MEANT DR DRE NOT DR DER
KRAZZYKATT
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
You got the illest rhymes, KRAZYKATT! And the whistle goes WOO WOO!

call me
323-755-3636
Dr. Der
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
My partner and I do nothin but produce Hip-hop beats. If any of you out there think you got something give me a call. 909-263-4177...I will have to check out a sample of your flow and we'll move from there.

Take care,

Tarik
Tarik
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
HEY DRE MAN I HAVE MAJOR RESPECT FOR YOU I HAVE LIKED YOUR MUSIC FROM DAY 1 WHEN I FIRST HEARD IT. IM NOT TRYIN TO SUCK UP OR NOTHIN B/C I JUST SAID THAT BUT I MENT IT!!!! I WANNA BE PUT DOWN MY AFTERMATH, EVERYONE HAS BEEN TELLING ME THATS WHAT I SHOULD DO AND THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM CAUSE 2PAC WAS THE REASON I STARTED RAPPING. RIGHT NOW YOUR ARE THA ONLY PERSON I WOULD WORK WITH B/C NOW I DONT TRUST NO ONE MY OWN UNCLE IS JOLIOUS OF ME U GOT ME BIG THEN BROUGHT ME DOWN B/C HE GOT MAD B/C MY MUSIC WAS SELLING AND HIS WAS NOT, SO HE DROPPED ME SO HE CAN HAVE SOME SPOT LIGHT. ME I DONT WANT THA SPOT LIKE I DONT MINE HAVING IT BUT I JUST WANT TO GET PUT BACK OUT THERE B/C I KNOW I CAN BE BIG AND I WANNA DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE AND MY MUSIC I DONT WANNA BE A THUG ALL MY LIFE AND A KNOWBODY. I WANNA SET AN EXAMPLE FOR MY FAMILY CAUSE NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS DID NOTHIN BIG WITH THERE LIFE.

PLEASE PLEASE IM WILLING EVEN RELOCATE IF I HAVE TO
THANKS
GERARD DAVIS AKA THA KING OF THA SOUTH
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
HEY DRE MAN I HAVE MAJOR RESPECT FOR YOU I HAVE LIKED YOUR MUSIC FROM DAY 1 WHEN I FIRST HEARD IT. IM NOT TRYIN TO SUCK UP OR NOTHIN B/C I JUST SAID THAT BUT I MENT IT!!!! I WANNA BE PUT DOWN MY AFTERMATH, EVERYONE HAS BEEN TELLING ME THATS WHAT I SHOULD DO AND THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM CAUSE 2PAC WAS THE REASON I STARTED RAPPING. RIGHT NOW YOUR ARE THA ONLY PERSON I WOULD WORK WITH B/C NOW I DONT TRUST NO ONE MY OWN UNCLE IS JOLIOUS OF ME U GOT ME BIG THEN BROUGHT ME DOWN B/C HE GOT MAD B/C MY MUSIC WAS SELLING AND HIS WAS NOT, SO HE DROPPED ME SO HE CAN HAVE SOME SPOT LIGHT. ME I DONT WANT THA SPOT LIKE I DONT MINE HAVING IT BUT I JUST WANT TO GET PUT BACK OUT THERE B/C I KNOW I CAN BE BIG AND I WANNA DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE AND MY MUSIC I DONT WANNA BE A THUG ALL MY LIFE AND A KNOWBODY. I WANNA SET AN EXAMPLE FOR MY FAMILY CAUSE NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS DID NOTHIN BIG WITH THERE LIFE.

PLEASE PLEASE IM WILLING EVEN RELOCATE IF I HAVE TO
THANKS
GERARD DAVIS
CONTACT-601-684-9776 CALL ANYTIME
GERARD DAVIS AKA THA KING OF THA SOUTH
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
GERARD... THIS IS NOT KNOW SITE TO BE TALKING TO DR.DRE, HE IS NOT NEVER GONNA REED THIS B/C THIS ISNT KNOW AFTERMATH RECORDS SITE SO YOU MITE WANNA GO LOOK FOR HIM SOMEWHERE ELSE, IM SURE HE WOLD BE INTERESTED SINCE YOU ARE WILLIN TO RELOCATE AND ALL, IM SURE HE AINT NEVER HAD NO ONE BE WILLIN TO DO THAT FOR HIM BEFORE
WISPY AKA THA KING OF THA WISPER TOWNE
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
GERARD, DONT LISTEN TO THOSE HATERS. DRE DOES COME TO THIS SITE ALL THE TIME AND IS ALWAYS TRYING TO PEEP HOT NEW ACTS. DONT BE SIMPIN THOUGH, COME FOR REAL, AND ALWAYS BE HUSTLIN.
BROTHA WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS DRE.
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
hahaha... awesome
sarah
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
hahaha... awesome, what kind of dumbass puts his phone # on a site that he has no clue what its about?
sarah
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
humm that was weird
sarah
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
If anyone can help me on this, I'd appreciate it. I'm trying to get the old mixes Dr Dre use to do on KDay back in the 80's.
Ice
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
Call me and I'll send them to you (if you pay me)

601 684-9776
Dr. Dre
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
I don't have a problem with that, when do I need to call? Also, I'm a club dj in Little Rock(born and raised in Carson next to the CPT), how can I get future Aftermath/Shady/GUnit promo releases and get on the Aftermath street team for this region?
Ice
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
I usually work at night so call me from 11pm - 1am Sun - Thurs. and we'll work something out.

THANX
Dr. Dre
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
i have lost all hope in humanity. YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING IDIOTS!! THIS SITE MAKES FUN OF JACKASSES LIKE YOU, HEY "ICE"? WHY DONT YOU TAKE A SECOND LOOK AT "DRE'" #, SCROLL UP THE PAGE AND SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE A CONNECTION?! SEE IT? NO REALLY GO AHEAD, SEE? YUP IT IS A JOKE, ha fucking ha you people are bright and shiny, just like a rusted spork.
jesus fucking h christ
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
damn jesus
settle down.
sledg
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
Yes, I know thats a Mississippi area code, so it must not be Dre. If the real Dr Dre was on here, he could answer these 2 questions correctly. 1. The name of the apartments in Compton u stayed in when u were young.(hint:______ Arms) 2. When u was hookin up with Eazy, u went over his moms house off of Greenleaf, whats the name of the street his mom lived on? If Dre doesn't feel comfortable giving the answers on this site, then just email them to me.
Ice
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
wait i think i know this shit. 1 up in arms, that was his apartment building. and 2 easy's moms street address. ummm, is this on one of the cds. shit. what is, uh i dont know. whit you hooked up with easy e. you must be fucking hot...or have a giant cock. good for you man.
peace out, to my mother-fuckin homies. bitch.
jon r
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
hey this post is a year and a half old. That is fucking awesome.
jon r
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
1. Brothers in Arms
2. Ferndale

That number is for my office in Fayette.
Dr. Dre
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
these comments are awesome
sarah
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
the internet is a powerful thing.
neal
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am
You dre!!!!!1

Get aT Me dog!!!!!11
DiEEdOGGG LOC
Friday 13 February 2004 at 01:23 am

Comments

(optional field)
(optional field)
ARE YOU HUMAN?
Remember personal info?
Small print: All html tags except <b> and <i> will be removed from your comment. You can make links by just typing the url or mail-address.

Leave a Message