I am almost 28.

I am freaking out.

I have moved to Australia.

I have no career any longer.

I currently have about the same amount of self esteem as I did in high school.

I am losing my hair.

I don't think there is anyone in my life that doesn't find me to be an asshole.

I am becoming irrelevant.

I am becoming unmotivated.

I am filling up with fear.

I am full of regret.

I fucking hate Kanye West's new album and hate how much people love it.

I feel like I related to the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" way more than anyone ever should have, especially considering the fact that none of the plot points in that movie have ever happened to me.

I am not proud.

I have grown to HATE my hometown and the majority of the people that live there.

I am finding it harder to be creative.

I am finding it harder to get positive reinforcement.

I am having a hard time finding people to have an honest conversation with.

I can't smoke cigerettes anymore without them literally causing sharp pains in my lungs.

I get hungover from 2 drinks now.

I am starting to hate my body.

I am starting to worry too much.

I am starting to feel like I don't communicate as well as I thought I did.

I feel like I'm a push over.

I feel like I'm too aggressive.

I feel like Im becoming my father.

I have less of an idea of what I want to do with my life than I did 10 years ago.

I really want to see Darren Aronofsky's Wolverine Movie.

Im really really really freaking out about aging.

I wish I could sit down and play video games without feeling antsy.

I wish I could win the lottery.

I wish I would stop whining.

Holy crap!

ian

Thursday 16 December 2010 at 05:31 am

Two comments

I don't think you're and asshole. I don't understand the Kanye appeal either.

Jeryl

I am glad you were able to get that off your chest E-een! I hope you feel like a big weight has been lifted and that you can move on now. No more feeling insignificant, okay? People rarely get the luxury of knowing there true importance on this planet. Within the last three years I have learned that I will not save the world or be known when I die for doing so. So what! Just finding happiness and time to do the silly things I like to do, read and listen to music, fart on the couch, make food and see my friends, are hard enough to accomplish without interruption. You have made it to Australia. You don't have to stay forever, but that is an accomplishment that is unique to you. I think that recognizing that you are not going to be the thing you thought you wanted to be when you were a child is a sign of growing up, and that's a good thing. Scale it down friend! Put on some Nick Cave and pat yourself on the back because you are standing, awake, alive and my friend! If it isn't a Cave sort of day then rock the Frusciante and shave your head.
I Love You!

Daria Lisandrelli

Holy crap!

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