My roommates may be moving out in the next couple of months. They've been living together for awhile, but always with a roommate, never just the two of them, and I'm sure that it can get wearing on a couple to have to share space with another person constantly. I'm perfectly alright with this. I was actually just telling C a couple weeks ago that I sort of miss living alone. So, here we go, I might get to live alone again.
But the last couple of days, the thought of living alone has brought up all those memories of when I did live alone a couple years ago, and.... It's like the constant flooding of stuff. Good, bad, all of it. Stuff that is long done and over with, things that have since been fixed and I have moved on from... namely all the things that happened with C. The whole secret little affair we carried on, the really good times, and then those really bad times, when it all fell apart... And all that stupid hurt and all those stupid tears and all the long, drawn-out conversations we had which never resulted in anything but more crying....
We're fine now. It's been six great months, with none of the stuff that were problematic before. Six great months of us being together, growing, communicating, making sure we're doing things right so we can make this work. I've never been happier, with a relationship or with myself.
But these stupid memories just won't shut off and it's starting to make me crazy.
This sucks.
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