I dont know what the hell is wrong with me.
I have been stuck in a funk for a while now. I honestly can not figure out why. But something about today, I felt completely (absolutely) alone for the first time in my life.
I watched I heart Huckabees tonight and that helped a little, but then I watched the second half of Terminator 2 on TV, and it made me feel depressed, which sucks cuz I love that fuckin flick.
I just havent met anyone down here that I can completely relate to. I thought I did, but then it turned out, not so much. I sit in my room when I'm not at work, which bums me out. So I go outside to do something, and it bums me out because Im tired of doing things without any company.
Luckily, Im too broke to start drinking all of the time again. Unfortunately, Im too broke to smoke pot all of the time, which at this current phase of my life, would be helpful, I think (Look at that "proper" sentence).
I just wish I could figure out whats going on...
I'm also smoking more than I ever have in my life, which bothers me constantly.
I want to create things and work on things but my motivation and confidence is non-existent.
I feel like a tool spouting out all of this shit out to the internet, but i guess this is what my life is now. I guess my current problem is that I am just having problems coming to terms with that.
PS. This would be the perfect post for all of those EMO kids to take revenge on me.
tenderly yours
-lord bearded jon
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