thursday afternoon, while driving to powell's, i saw a girl who i went to high school with walking down the street. i hadn't realized she was living in portland now, and it sort of surprised me. well saturday night, while sitting and waiting for the concert to start, i turned around only to see that she was sitting just a few rows behind us. she saw me too late for me to turn around, we said hi, i said i hadn't relized she was living here, and, as a courtesy i suppose, suggested we go get drinks sometime. her smile was forced, and her 'yeah, that'd be fun' was less then genuine. i'm not going to say i was bummed that she didn't seem to want to hang out with me; we weren't friends in high school, merely friends with the same people. i always got the feeling she wasn't too fond of me, and she was one of those people who always managed to make me feel like i was somehow inadequate or not quite worthy. and saturday, even though i've lived in this city longer, i know it better, and i have much more established life here, just that brief exchange of words managed to bring back all those same feelings.
i realize that it's ridiculous. that was high school, this is now, years later and after i've built an entirely different life. but i hated it, for that moment, feeling like i used to during high school.
i just ate a big bowl of ice cream, i cream sandwich, and oreo cookies, all mashed together. glorious. time to go to work! fall into the gap, everyone.
always.....
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