existentialism:  egz-i-sten-shel-i-zm - A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

I realize that good things happen to good people just as often as good things happen to bad people.  The world is fixed and unchanging.  No caring or loving deed can prevent a torture that will happen tomorrow.  Victims of fate.

Something could happen tomorrow that could leave me broken and bruised, prey to the circumstances surrounding my life that can eat away at my exposed, vulnerable flesh.  I am frightened that my bliss will be shattered.  One stone can topple my tower of happiness and excitement.  I don't like being a victim to fate, especially in a cold and heartless world.

Society's members that believe the heartless world does not discriminate in who it chooses to punish withdraws.  I see it all around me; the people standing on the sidelines, glazed over pupils and souls.  I don't want to be a member of that bunch.