I am now one of these people. How "LA" have I become?

After suffering several panic attacks on the drive back from Las Vegas and suffering strange symptoms of "Somethingwrongicidus" since, I have been prescribed a drug most commonly known as Xanax but more appropriately known as Alprazolam. Since I have other unknown medical issues that I think may have triggered the attacks, I was hoping the doctor I went to would be interested in checking out why it is Im having difficulties breathing, fatigue, weakness, trouble focusing (both mentally and with my eyes), shaky extremities (so shaky I didnt realize we were having an earthquake), a constant feeling of pressure in my head, and last but not least, a tingly feeling around the area of my brain stem. They also prescribed something else for the Vertigo Ive been experiencing as well but I dont remember what its called. Im not supposed to take both medications together although I get both Vertigo and Panic Attacks at aobout the same time. Both medications make me drowsy which doesnt help my fatigue and weakness issues. Seeing as how after my first Panic attack each subsequent one happened while I was driving, I feel like this is a necessary antidote until I can find a doctor that feels like trying to discover what is actually wrong with my body without just thoughtlessly prescribing me drugs (especially ones that are known to be quite addictive) to cover them up. Americas medical system is pathetic, btw. I am about to waste a shitload of money.

Chemical Dependency

ian

Wednesday 30 July 2008 at 6:17 pm

Two comments

Somewhere in Ashland, located in the hills of southern Oregon

Splash page

T-bag sits, he's on the computer eating oatmeal, thinking of what to do today (Foreground). The smell of burnt eggs fill the room, his GF is cooking in the background.

T-bag (thought ballon) 

Although she's inept at producing edible meals, it's the thought that counts.

He takes a bite of oatmeal, the smell of of burnt rubber and oil fill his lungs as he eats the oatmeal. He's left with a bad taste in his mouth and this reminds him of...

Title Page

T-bag is hunched over a bathtub, naked puking blood

"Signs of the Apocolypse"

Page 1 panel 1 

T-bag (thought ballon) 

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a joke or if the premise was meant to be taken seriously, but come July when ever the fuck this movie hits the small screen, douche bags everywhere can throw up the shocker and rejoice, for the first sign of their masters return is upon all of us...I also thought this was silly

Nuff said

Holy Moly!

T-bag

Wednesday 23 July 2008 at 10:16 am

No comments

Since the beginning of time, man has frequently asked himself "what is wisdom teeth?"

Well, as it turns out, I recently went through an extraction and did significant post-op research and am now equipped to answer the above question. I've also decided to share a few of my tips to deal with the traumatic process.



Wisdom typically teeth develop between the ages of 16 and 25, which is why they are called "Wisdom" teeth -- apparently, ancient gypsy magicians used to possess a secret incantation to give the subject a great deal of wisdom. This spell could only be issued if the vessel was pure of conscious and between the ages of 16 and 25. The only downside to this wisdom spell is that for every lie you have ever told, a small piece of calcium attaches itself to your MOUTH BONEZ. This happens because gypsy ghosts hate everything gifted with the wonderful gift of life and seek to punish those who possess living wisdom. The gypsys made one fatal error, however. They used the spell too much. Eventually, the wisdom of our great, great, great grandfathers would become our own through the only proven instance of evolution in modern history.

Back before the days of 'easy' extraction, people would just leave their crooked-ass, rotting teeth in, causing them great pain and fucking awful breath. In some cases, infection would spread and cause permanent swelling, discoloration and even death. In the early 1930s, purposefully inducing swelling actually became a fad with the young kids of this era. They called themselves "The 13th Block Anemia Dandies" and could be found doing all sorts of hoodrat things, like heisting dirigibles and smoking with cigarettes.

Now, thanks to the internet and computers, wisdom tooth extraction is as easy as bloody-gauze pie drizzled with savory rotting gum plasma.

Normally, the process starts by going to your money-hungry dentist. He will do some X-RAYS (again, invented by gypsy magicians) and see those little pockets of lies in your gums. The only thing dentists lust for more than pain is money, and wisdom tooth extraction is spendy stuff, partially because the tools involved are expensive.






After each tooth is removed, a small spider is placed in the hole. This spider will spin a web, which traps blood and causes it to clot. This allows healing to begin quickly. Once the clot is in place, the spider climbs out of the hole in your sleep and returns to the denist (aka the SPIDERMASTER). Every once and awhile, the spider will lay thousands of eggs in the hole. These eggs eventually hatch and the brood feed on the clot. This is what causes dry socket. Spiders.

After you go home, there are 7 tips you should follow to ensure quick healing:

1 -- Blunt force trauma to the mouth really drains you of precious nutrients. Ensure that your body has the fuel it needs by eating as many red vines, chik-o-stiks and pieces of fresh salt-water taffy as you can.

2 -- Removing the tooth lets the little pockets in your gums collect evil (evil is attracted to where the lies used to be). Ensure the evil doesn't burrow in too deeply by enducing serious hot-cold regiments. Saunas and supersoakers filled with ice & salt & water works well.

3 -- Blood clots require blood to start clotting. Help your mouth and circulation out -- jog briskly for 30 to 45 minutes to get your heart rate up.

4 -- Sleep with your head below the rest of your body. Because, as I have already told you, blood clots require blood to start clotting.

5 -- Frequently brush the holes. No one likes dirty holes.

6 -- Don't change gauze. The dentist will cast a spell of perseverance on the gauze before you leave. Changing it will leave your soul open to the devil's temptation.

7 -- Don't talk to gypsys. This one is really more of a life lesson, but it's very applicable here. Gypsies consider the tooth-hole spiders a delicacy and will quickly snatch them from your swollen orifice.

After about 3 weeks of constant bleeding, things should start to shape up. At this point, there's not much else to do, other than pull your stitches out. The best method for this is to use a fishhook and some pliers.

I hope this informative guide has helped you understand a little bit more about the strange chunks of calcium that form in our soft tissue. As always, when facing the most challenging of challenges, trust your heart and you shall succeed.



XOXOXOXOX.

INFORMATION: A guide to wisdom teeth

eric

Tuesday 22 July 2008 at 10:43 pm

Two comments

After listening to all of Captain Beefheart's discography today, I dont understand why Trout Mask Replica is considered his best album. I mean, while there is some wild stuff up in there, his later more straight forward stuff is wild and awesome as fuck. My favorite as of now is the album entitled "Clear Spot".



I ate 3 dominos pizzas today and have been having the weirdest smelling farts all day.

I finally got a new job. I am a PA at a PostProduction House/ Production Company. Most of the shows they produce are Bikini videos. Either that or Extreme Sports shows. Needless to say, Im still looking for a new job while this one pays the bills. It shares a building with the Post House that Sam Raimi is working on his new movie in. I was walking to my car in the parking lot and I saw him riding a skateboard at approxamately 1mph around the parking lot. Interesting...

Im clearing off my old computer's harddrive to make it my primary music/mixmaking computer. I stumbled upon a folder that was simply titled "Karp", like the band I think. Anyway, inside was about 3 gb of naked lady pictures. As i went through them, reminiscing, I found about 7 pictures that were from when we first joined myspace and girls would post naked pictures of themselves on there (for some reason). I saved them apparently. Anyhow, I tried to delete the folder and my Mac G4 refused, saying simply it couldnt be deleted. I tried everyway Ive ever known to trick it into deleting to no avail. So I guess those pictures are on my computer forever. There are bigger tragedies.

I highly recommend Arturia's MiniMoog software. It never stops being fun.

My goal this week is to see Hellboy 2 and Dark Knight.

Blast from the Past:



I finally watched my bootleg video of Chris Cunningham's FLEX. I want to do some weird drugs and watch it again. That muthafucka needs to make something. Shit man, its been years.

Damn, USB 1.0 ports are slower than my jiz (and that shits like tree sap). Its gonna take 3 hours to transfer 8gb of stuff to an external harddrive. BULLSHIT!

As of right now, I have several projects in the works:
1. Transferring whatever is left of Jon and I's movie BLOOD ROBOTS to youtube
2. 2 Screenplays with my good Portland pal Garett Strickland
3. Starting a web comic with Hollye aka Kittybomb
4. Postcards with Riotsheelds from MTC
5. Remixing a song for my Portland buddy, Marcus. The song is titled SCARED and its from his band MLIOTTA.
6. Continuing to work on Garageband the Band's first album "I Wanna Shoot You So Bad, My Dick Is Hard".
7. Starting work on a noisy music project entitled LOS ANGELES CITY BUS. Its gonna be loud and obnoxious.
8. Finishing up making my ultimate music hardrive, containing every mp3 ive ever bought, burned or stolen. Its two weeks in the making.

Plus hopefully being an Admin on MTC, running contests and such. Eric and I talked about it a few months ago, but he has not talked to me about it since (nudge nudge wink wink, eric).


And guess what? Im gonna buy an iPhone. So there.

Come the last week of November, I will be taking a 2 and 1/2 week trip to Australia. I will be traveling from Sydney to Melbourne and back as well as spending some time in a pleasant little area called Port Stevens. I might even get to kiss a real live girl too (something I havent done in well over a year).

Last night I went to a birthday party which was on top of the Kyoto Grand Hotel in downtown LA. I initially drove past it on accident and had to turn around but got scared because just one block over everything resembled the setting of the classic Cuba Guba Juba flick JUDGMENT NIGHT. Anyway, on the roof was a fucking forest. They called it a garden but there were really tall trees and bushes and shit everywhere. It was really surreal because just outside the wall of foliage, were tons of tall buildings. Anyway, I shmoozed it up with other industry types and may have secured a job at DIGITAL DOMAIN. I would get paid slightly less but it would beat bikini videos. If there was ever to have a time where my jokes were on the money, last night was it and I nailed it. My dancing was on the money too.

Im going to Vegas next weekend with my forever wedding date Blond Katie. We are attending a wedding for some friends of hers, but Im going for the booze obviously. It should be fun.

What the fuck do people like about LCD Soundsystem anyways?

Love sledgdgdgdgdgdgggggggggggggodddddddddd

No topics or posts met your search criteria

ian

Sunday 20 July 2008 at 11:13 pm

One comment

It's been awhile, again. I'm working on it. I've managed to not have a definitive 'outside' work schedule til this point, but I think I'm going to have to start rationing my time in an official manner -- there's just far too much stuff I want to do. I'm figuring out how much free time I actually have to spend, then I'll divvy it up among the following projects:

Projects:
01 -- MTC
02 -- a PHP gallery framework I've been working on
03 -- Endysis (bitch needs a redesign [and more content])
04 -- More art (all kinds).
05 -- A MAME cabinet.
06 -- A headphone amplifier (probably similar to M^3)
07 -- FREELANCE

That's not everything, either. That's only the stuff on my short list.

And now you know. Anyway, enough with my plans.

For the 24th year in a row, I drove down south and attended the Ashland Fourth of July Parade / citywide celebration. The Parade / Day itself was fairly lackluster, but it was damn good to see some of the boys. Ms. Kim wasn't able to attend (for the second year in a row [1000xCLOWNFROWNFACES]), so I made the trek down by myself on the 3rd.

Before I leave, at work, about 40 minutes before noon (I'm planning to leave at noon), I totally fat finger a command and blow away the project I've been working on for the past 3 weeks. The 'revert' command just fucks shit up more. I nearly shat. I *run* to the other end of the building and grab the SVN guru. With a few magic keystrokes, he saves my ass. A few minutes late, I hit the road, heart attack averted.

I realized, while driving fast and listening to some seriously kick ass tunes, how perfect it was. It's a 4.5 hour drive. A regular CD can contain 80 minutes of music. I can burn a CD of quality MP3s that contains 4.3 hours of music. Technology is amazing. Music has become a commodity. What do I do with the other 0.2 hours of music? That's for the final home stretch. I've never been accurately able to determine what music would be adequate, so I leave a wildcard space.

Anyway, the drive is overly uneventful (AND EXPENSIVE). I arrive at a decent hour and hang with the parents. I pass out early, only to wake early and drive my ass to Ashland for the parade. Our friends had staked out a place earlier, so we roll in just as the jets fly overhead and the parade starts. We get situated and I look across the street to see the following:


click here for NOINTERNETCENSORSHIP version.

The legendary 'Naked Lady' was there. She goes around *everywhere* like this. Everyone stares. Some men drool. It was amusing, watching individuals in the crowd and and determining if they were watching the parade, or watching TITTY. Apparently there was some parade-related drama. Check the picture out in this article. LOL OUT LOUD!

This just in: a closer inspection of original picture yields scary results. YOW.


Then, these assholes roll by. Yeah, I remember you dicks from last year. Guess what? It wasn't awesome then, either. I hope your gyros explode.


It's not a parade if there aren't some SILLY ASS IMPORTS. On a serious note -- perhaps an all time low in parade quality?


The highlight of the parade? A paparazzi moment with Tooth. Yeah, you remember Tooth, right?

The one thing I don't get about this image -- why is he standing among children with a giant halfie? Ha! I pray that it's an illusion. But seriously, I couldn't have imagined a more perfect pose by the guy.


The parade finished uneventfully. I immediately went to the bar and started drinking. T-bag was working, but I met his girlyfriend and consumed a few stiff GRAPE DRANKS, as I like to call 'em (double-strength cocktail that tastes like lightly carbonated grape koolaide). Zac showed up. We hung out in a closet area and listened to AIDS WOLF for awhile. Good times.


POPULATION: TOOTH.


After lunch and a nap, I head to Zac's for some radness. Zac rents a ridiculous house with a homemade ramp in the back yard. There was a plywood table holding a king's ransom in chex mix, potato chips, dips, red vines, skittles and nacho cheese. The only part I wasn't stoked on was the Weezer logo tagged on the ramp. Did someone try to cross it off? Hrmm.


The valley is beautiful.


Fireworks were watched from on top of a particular downtown building. The View wasn't superb, but really, who the fuck cares about fireworks these days?

I eventually make it home and pass the shit out, sunburn free. Sun: 23, Me: 1.

The rest of the weekend was low key. I hung out with the parents, watched some movies, had some great discussions, drank vodka and honed my rifle accuracy on some punkass boxes with spraypainted targets.

Finally, I know this is old as shit, but it continues to bring a smile to my face. How a seven year old can say such amazing things, I'll never know.

Moral of the story: I drive back to portland the next day and go back to work. More info soon, big things are in the works! Potential massive debt! Yay!

Hoodrat things.

eric

Thursday 17 July 2008 at 12:20 am

Three comments

Somewhere in Ashland, located in the Valley of southern Oregon


That’s me, Tallon James Jackson next to the gf Amber (and the creeper). I run a kitchen at a local restaurant. I'm an avid Music, Film, Literature/Comic book, food and drink fan. I love my friends and family, I enjoy life with little ambition and minor responsibility, I procrastinate but I’ll go more into that later. Here's some random pictures


el oh el
popup

The best of both worlds


Hero


// READ COMPLETE POST

I like Turtles

T-bag

Wednesday 09 July 2008 at 2:31 pm

Three comments

I have been sitting inside my room for the last week or so, listening to all 3 albums by Gary Wilson on repeat, drinking Pabst Genuine Draft, organizing a giant super external hard drive that has every mp3 ive ever had on it (hint: a lot of fucking files), and fighting off a feeling of worthlessness that has been the strongest Ive ever felt in my whole life. Here are some things that have been making me feel fear this last week:

-I fear my best friend down here, Dave, a recovering heroin addict, might have relapsed
-I fear I am wasting my life
-I fear I'm not going to be able to find a job
-I fear I'm not gonna ever make any friends down here, and thus, be one of those strange dudes that spends all his time alone (like I have been)
-I fear something really bad is about to happen
-I fear that after all this hard work, my external hard drive is gonna crash and lose all my music
-I fear I may someday punch one of my roommates in the face and break my hand
-I fear Im gonna start fearing everything

Thats it,
Much Luv,
Sleddg

Fears

ian

Sunday 06 July 2008 at 7:19 pm

Three comments