Jebus, please don't let my mom look in the closet.


What an amazing week. Nothing spectacular happened, it's just amazing that I survived. Free time has become a precious commodity, more valuable than gold, silver or poon. crazy.

It was just one giant stress ball. Lots of homework to be done. I had to submit the first draft of my term paper for the "Ethics in IT" class. I talked about the rash of companies losing customer data (one company lost 1.4 million customer credit card numbers -- dag) and analyzed the issue using Kantian logic with a little rule utilitarianism thrown in the mix, just to pad things out. I wrote it in three hours and it didn't totally suck.

The paper this week was hectic as well. We had a 24 page paper today, and for a small staff like ours -- that's a shitload of material. I think we only pulled 2 or 3 short articles from the wire, which is impressive.

This week also marked my debut as a opinion columnist. I wrote a fairly sizable piece titled "dude, your mom is hot" which detailed how I want to bang a middle-aged woman in honor of this years annual Mom's weekend. Very tongue in cheek, but pretty racy, nonetheless.

it's crazy, as i sit here, people are walking on the sidewalk below my room with their moms. Some people look embarrassed, some look happy, some look very unhappy. honestly, i'm stoked my mom is coming. She's only staying for a night, but it should be fun -- we have an amazing relationship. She used to be such a hard-ass, but that's mainly because i was a punk-ass teenager. Once I showed that I was capable of being a decent human, she lightened up a ton. Bottom line, she rocks.

My room / house has never been this clean, it's kind of nice.

I met up with my good ol' friend Rich for coffee today. He detailed his plan to write a book of short stories from his college career. It was inspiring, because I know, of all my friends, he's the most capable of actually doing it. Everyone talks about writing a book, but noone ever does. It was really good to catch up -- he's a bit different than the people I live with, we actually had a pseudo-intellectual conversation. It was refreshing.

anyway, i gotta get some food in my gut. i'm fucking starving. I love you all.

distractions

eric

Friday 29 April 2005 at 4:45 pm

One comment

ahhh! so i have a predicament....

we might go to bogota for the weekend, and i totally want to go because i think it would be good times and, i mean, when am i gonna be able to go to columbia for the weekend again? but, it's gonna cost pretty penny and i really should save money for this summer when i have to go back to normal life and paying bills and whatnot... but at the same time i did take out a loan for this semester so that i could enjoy myself here, and i have done very little traveling, and my time before home is running out..... i don't know what to do!!!

what do y'all think?


always.....

¡ayúdame!

curlingiron

Tuesday 19 April 2005 at 3:34 pm

Four comments

Here is a Top Ten Gayest Things of All-Time List (and I don't mean homosexual):
1.EMO
2.Holding Up your lit up cell phone like it is a lighter during EMO ballads
3.EMO dudes(cause they are BIG pussies)
4.EMO Chicks(cuz they are short and fat and dumb an shit)
5.All Age Venues for Shows
6.EMO Haircuts(get a haircut you damn hippies)
7.Grattitude (who are playing at Coachella)
8.The Smiths (yep, and Morrisey too)
9.Krumping
10.Carson Daly and His Show

Honorable Mention: Guys over 19 who are in EMO bands. Fuckin CHIMO'S.

Top 5 Coolest Things in the World:
1.Pushing EMO girls down on the ground
2.Sucking off a giraffe
3.Vladimir Guerrero
4.The new Minus the Bear tunes
5.Jake from Minus the Bear calling the audience "fellas" and all the EMO Chicks Getting Mad


// READ COMPLETE POST

Emo: The Worse Thing Ever

ian

Tuesday 19 April 2005 at 1:06 pm

195 comments

from st.cloud times and the associated press, friday, april 15, 2005:

Veggie Monster? Muppet rations cookies
The Associated Press

NEW YORK (AP) — On "Sesame Street," Cookie Monster is parting with his beloved treats to help teach children lessons about eating well.

That's right, the Muppet who once sang, "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me," is advocating eating a healthful diet.

There's even a new song —"A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food," in which Cookie Monster learns there are "anytime" foods and "sometimes" foods.

Rosemarie Truglio, the show's vice president of research and education, said the focus of "Sesame Street" changes every year.

This year, the show will focus not just on teaching numbers and letters but also on emotional and physical health.

With the rise in childhood obesity, Truglio said "Sesame Street" is concentrating on the need to teach children about healthful foods and physical activity.

This season, each episode opens with a "health tip" about nutrition, exercise, hygiene and rest.
Truglio said "Sesame Street" also will introduce new characters such as talking eggplants and carrots and offer parodies such as "American Fruit Stand."

Guest stars will address healthful activities, such as Alicia Keys talking and singing about the importance of physical activity.

Even politicians have gotten into the act, filming public service announcements with "Sesame Street" residents.

In one taping, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist teaches Elmo to exercise. In another, Sen. Hillary Clinton and the small red monster discuss the various textures and tastes of foods.

oh dear god, is nothing sacred? you can't just change cookie monster like that.... this is not ok...

oh. my. god.

curlingiron

Friday 15 April 2005 at 2:10 pm

One comment

There is in a line in the movie Sin City referring to badass character Marv, that says something about how he was unfortunate enoughto be born in the wrong century, and that he would have fit in perfectly on the battlefield swinging an axe into someone's face, or killing people in the colloseum. He would have all the women, etc, etc.

I feel that that quote could just as easily apply to the band Mastodon, who I saw at Dante's on Friday with Burning Brides. Those guys are so metal I just can't handle it.


// READ COMPLETE POST

Rock Sock

ian

Monday 11 April 2005 at 11:11 am

Two comments

Sideways machine.

I have to stop volunteering for stuff. I'm far to busy to be doing charity. Anyway, every day last week, I was up by 7am (seven ayy-emm) and by 7:30am (seven thirty ayy-emm) I was at the Barometer office working on their webpage. It wasn't too hard, and I believe I'm getting paid a little to do it, but seriously, sitting in front of a computer at 7:45am (seven-fourty-five ayy-emm), copying and pasting articles into the template was not a good time.

Thursday morning, I get up and peek out the window to see what kind of clothes I will be wearing. I stared out my blinds for a few moments, not really taking it all in. I saw three cop cars and people mulling all over the place. I put some clothes on and head to work. I get stopped by a police officer not even 10 (ten) feet outside my door. Apparently, some drunk kids decided to pick up a few cars and move them into the middle of the street (SEE PICTURE ABOVE). I guess every car on the street was that way, but a few people had moved their cars by the time I woke up. Crazy.

Friday night was "off-the-chain." My roomie, Andy, decided to make the trek up to Salem and buy a couple of kegs. Two kegs for $80, sweet deal. Anyway, we throw a party at the slab (our neighbors house) and tap the first keg around 9:30. For the next hour, it is total dudesweat, then, out of nowhere, everyone and their mother showed up and by midnight, both kegs are gone. dag.

Paul, being the douchebag he is.

Now, I like to party, but that night, I was out in full-force. All I had eaten that day was a single packet of Ramen, so by the 5th cup of beer, I was already lit and I didn't stop there. Me and Leah get the fuck out of the party, soon joined in my room by both my roomies. all of us are THRASHED. the next thing I know, it's 3am (three ayy-emm) and we're making the 20 block trek to La Conga, a 24-hour mexican food joint. Things get blurry after I ate that burrito. dag yo.

what a great fucking weekend.

CLICK ON ME.

Anyway, I just finished my second draft poster for the second annual HARDCORE show here at OSU. Dillinger cancelled. I was bummed-the-fuck-out. I guess they eighty-sixed their entire west-coast tour. bum deal. Anyway, there's my second draft. I really don't have much motivation, so excuse me if it is a bit sloppy.

CLICK ON ME (BALLS).

CLICK ON ME ALSO.

My two latest cover designs for Diversions. The sheep one is my favourite to date. Check out the entire series at my gallery, http://eric.endysis.org.

i love you all.

//EDIT (6:04pm [six-oh-four pee-emm]): keep an eye on my latest project, elitistfucks.com.

The vandals stole the handles

eric

Sunday 10 April 2005 at 3:41 pm

Seven comments

well i have not posted in a while. i am home, in case anyone dosn't know. it feels weird to be back home. normal and not an adventure. i guess this is all in my head and i am trying to make the best of it. i am in school again, and working at brothers again....with andy fererro. you guys remember him. i am taking spanish in school which is incredibly hard, but really good. i am happy about it.
i was thinking that it would be pretty sad to come back from vacation and not enjoy my life here at home. so i am making the best of things. or trying to. europe was an envoronment conducive for changings one's normal patterns in life. expectations on oneself. and that was exelent. i was also keep a journal which helps me to undersatnd my head.
here at home it is eazy to not even try. because there is so much of the same old shit around you. but again i must say it is all what you make of it.
i tell you what though i will be traveling again soon.
i urge you all to.
maybe even with me,
maybe not.
it is good to feel like your life is progressing. it always is, but to feel it and see it is good.
have you ever wonder how quicky we can change outselves.
i used to think that i need about six months to forget all of the changes i thought i was making, and let the ones that were true to fall into place. this was also a time of no journal, because for me this has a lot of control, writing about myself. living on greenbriar, walking scooter through that feild below our house i remeber wondering if i could speed this process up. as i understand how this process in myself works. and suddenly everything moved fast in my head, the impossible was becoming possible. and the vision of my thoughts began to blur around the edges.
i talked to my mom the other day about something that i didn't think very much of until right now. she told me of an event horizon. a point in you where what is important becomes clear. and all of that other shit, the silly shit in life. the unimportant shit. (like money and a job, and status, and pain, and fear, and...a dreaded future that you fear wont happen (too bad)) all of the stuff in a person's life that they feel is unimportant, but focus on...well it falls away. then what is left!
i think i am becoming an alcoholic, and i don't think i can hold up through the whole school year and work. because i am so stressed. and i don't know if i will travel more, and do what is so unimpossible, but seems to be. and i must ask how important is all of this shit. and how would i prefer to deal with these situations?
i hope i have not gone off the deep end this is not what i expected to write about.
i just wanted to get my name on the website a little bit.
love you guys
jon r

hello friends

jonR

Friday 08 April 2005 at 2:26 pm

Two comments

Just got off the phone with Jake Snider (guitar / vocals for Minus the Bear). I set up an interview for a feature piece I'm writing about their upcoming show in Portland on the 16th. He was very personable, although he sounded a bit groggy. He definitely wasn't as 'on' as I had expected him to be, his answers were pretty straightforward (I left a few questions out because he didn't seem to be in a 'silly-question' mood), so it wasn't the most entertaining article, but nonetheless, still super badass.

Me: What was the last CD that you really, really enjoyed?
Jake: Probably Subtle, that CD is amazing.
Me: Isn't that a bummer about Dax being paralyzed?
Jake: Dax is paralyzed?!
Me: Yeah, their van flipped and he broke his neck...
Jake (talking to people in the van): Dax is paralyzed
(insert suprised gasps here)
Jake: geez man, thanks for the good news...

This week has been crazy. The cover for the A&E section this week was killer, I'll post it when I get home later today.

I love you all.

ps - check out http://www.purevolume.com/minusthebear to hear a track from MTB's upcoming album (August), Menos el Oso

Menos el Oso

eric

Friday 08 April 2005 at 12:26 pm

Two comments

From toolband.com:

07 Apr 05
"Christians, huh? So forgive me." - Bill Hicks

Good news, April fools fans. The writing and recording is back under way. When approached for comment on his recent encounter with the Son of God, Maynard said, "That guy's a punk!"
As it turns out, Maynard was out "location scouting" near the Fourth Street bridge in downtown Los Angeles when he "found Jesus."
"Turns out he was here the whole time, and not that difficult to find if you know where to look," Maynard reported. Apparently Jesus offered him the position of campaign manager for his new line of "Holier Than Thou" sparkling holy water, which Maynard of course accepted. What wasn't obvious was that this guy is a total drunk. It's an occupational hazard. Every time our Lord goes to get a glass of water, it transforms into a generic grocery store Merlot. Because the alcoholic is the Son of God and an all-knowing being, he knew of Maynard’s extensive interest in collecting wine. So he went to work trying to get his lips on it. Maynard caught J.C. in his cellar transforming his precious wine collection into urine, then pissing it into the empty "sparkling holy water" bottles for the eventual sale to all those people who bought, read, and embraced "The Celestine Prophesy." Tragic.
"Truth be told," Maynard confessed, "I wasn't feeling top notch when I found him. The evening prior to the day in question I had over-indulged in a series of bad Molotov shrimp cocktails with a side of Makers Mark and twin strippers. So after an entire night of G.I. Blowouts, hot/cold sweats, and blurred vision, it's very possible that the guy I met wasn't even Jesus at all. For all I know, it was Willem Dafoe."

I told you!

April Fools Dumb Asses

ian

Thursday 07 April 2005 at 3:07 pm

One comment

so the other day i was making brownies in the kitchen (as opposed to the bathroom? man, i suck sometimes) and josè and blanca (my host parents) were in there making lunch/dinner. so we're just one happy family, cooking away, and we turn on the kitchen tv and there on spanish cnn is the coverage of the pope's death. we're watching it and talking about it, and i think i accidentally said "popa" instead of "papa" for pope, so josè corrected me. i wanted to clarify, so i asked if it is pronounced "papà" like padre or "papa" like potato. he told me it was the later and i said ok. and just to check one more time i said "so, the word "papa" is used for pope and potato?" he said yes, and i moved on with life.

now, let me explain josè to you: he is this quiet little man that will definitely talk, but he's just softspoken en general.

so we sit down to eat a little later, me, my host brothers, santiago (one of my brother's friends) and blanca y josè. josè prays for the meal, and then while we're all passing food and whatnot and there was a lull in conversation, josè looks up with this very serious, straight face, and in english says very matter-of-factly, "the potato is dead." and he knew exactly what he was saying.

i started laughing so hard, and at first everyone else was confused, until we explained the pope/potato thing, and one of my brothers just got this shocked look on his face and told josè what a bad joke it was. and i guess it was bad, considering the man had just died a few hours before, but.... well, i laughed. a lot.

but the brownies turned out excellent!!

ah, mi vida en ecuador... good times, good times.


siempre.....

pope y potato

curlingiron

Tuesday 05 April 2005 at 3:56 pm

Two comments

1. SIN CITY FUCKING ROCKS

2. Im retaking Math 95 because my professor is a stupid whore and says that I have to actually attend class to pass, regardl;ess of what my test scores are and how many times I've already learned about FOILing. My new teacher is what appears to be the most miserable woman in the world. She didn't even show up for class today. Everytime I see her I want to throw used condoms at her and curse her and punch her tooth and give her the poison eye. No im just kidding. But it is sad to have to watch a morbidly obese women who you can tell pounds a fifth of vodka and cries herself to sleep everynight teach you math.

3. I moved in with my girlfriend. The times, they are a changin.

4. Wispy came to visit and we went to a rock show at a place called the Solid State for 8 dollars. This venue is about the size of my dorm room. The first un-local band we watched was the duderadical THE OXES. These guys just have to be seen. They blew my cock through my asshole and that was before they had us singalong to THEM BONES by ALICE IN CHAINS. I wanted to buy a cd really bad but I had no cash. Then we saw the almighty BIG BUSINESS who rocks it so hard I almost died, JUST LIKE THE POPE. Then We saw These Arms are Snakes, which I like better live then on CD. They were rocking it but about 2/3's through their set, we left cuz me and wisp were rocked out and tired of smelling assholes.

5. The next night Me, Aurelia, Wisp, and two bozo's from Aurelia's work went to Wallbangers. This place has dueling pianos and the piano players will play pretty much what ever you yell out. They drink on the job, which is sweet. Aurelia's work bozo's kept yelling to the hottie female one to remove her top. She did not. But when we were leaving she flashed me and wisp a little somethin somethin. After trying to get the piano players to go out with us after they were closing up, to no avail, we hit Caberet, a sketchy ass strip club right on burnside.. The first chick we saw was hot but then after that it was depressing. It culminated with a woman who was obviously ten years older then the rest. She looked like she had done too much meth and might've been pregnant. All the guys in the club left as soon as she got up on stage. She was dancing to Eazy E and it was sad. She didn't even end up taking her clothes off. Which is good. This made us go to Mary's Club, the wackiest strip club around. Wispy fell in love with the strippers and we had a gay old time. Aurelia bought wispy a Mary's shirt so he could go show off in Southern Oregon. We went home and went to sleep. It was awesome.

Blawesome!

ian

Monday 04 April 2005 at 10:59 am

Five comments

My boss, Brian, summing up everything in one simple gesture.

Eric's Seattle Trip

Friday:
I wake up at 7 for a little on-the-job training (I'm covering for the Barometer's webmaster for a week) to find that the power had gone of during the night, resulting in a completely fried power supply on my computer. After my training, I hunt one down, install it and ensure that things are kosher before I dash to class, duffelbag in hand.

We left Corvallis around 3pm, an hour late. I swear, haivng such a deadline-driven job, you'd think that these people would be prompt. no-fucking-way. So, we hit the road and make the trek up to Seattle. The drive was quite uneventful. I did shoot a spitwad in one of my coworker's ear, but we got it out, no problem. I laughed, but I immediatly felt bad.

We arrive in Seattle, get our rooms and within 10 minutes, we are all hammered. I brought along my bottle of Crown Royal and we killed it within 5 minutes. Then, we head down for dinner, which consisted of pitcher after pitcher of overpriced beer and some shitty entres. Eventually, we make it down to second street and hit up a few bars. It is only 10pm and I am *lit*. Me and Conrad decide around midnight to walk back to the hotel while the rest of the gang makes their way to the next stop.

we make it back to the room and fall asleep pretty quickly. the sleep doesn't last long.

2:30am rolls around and the crew finds their way back home. They bust into the room and one guy immediatly goes into the bathroom and doesn't come out for nearly 2 hours. Everytime he heaved, we all laughed, which made him laugh, which made for a really fucking awkward situation on his end (I assume) -- have you ever laughed while you are throwing up? yeah, didn't think so.

finally, i fall asleep.

Saturday:
My alarm goes off at 7am. I hate getting up early. I shower, the crew gets ready and we head over to the Seattle Center for the Seattle-times hosted conference. I won't bore you with details, but I did learn a lot and met some literary badasses.

fast forward: three of us skip the tail end of the conference, go back to the hotel room, get very-very-very-very high (I havn't smoked in *ages*) and head off to the EMP. After manuvering about 7 blocks of Seattle, laughing our asses off the whole way, we arrive at the museum. I have been to seattle probably around 4 times in the last two years, each time, missing the museum.

let me just say, it was worth every fucking penny of admission. The special installation was a Bob Dylan / Hendrix exhibit. fucking amazing. I won't go into detail, but sufice it to say, we spend 4 hours there, only leaving because the museum was closing. I was so enthralled in it all that I didn't take a single picture.

Kiss's suits look really fucking lame up close, but Jimi's guitar looked divine.

we head back to the hotel, eat some food, drink some beer and hit the town again, heading down to pike's marketplace. summary: we drink lots and lots of beer then walk home.

we all fall asleep watching Seattle's public access (they had these fugly biker-chicks wrestling in cole-slaw out in the middle of south dakota, it was REALLY fucking weird). Around 4am (i'm not 100% sure of the time [fucking DST]), the fire alarm goes off. we hear sirens. I grab my pants. I put on a shirt. I run into the hall with the rest of the crew. Not seeing any smoke, i breathe a sigh of relief (I AM STILL VERY DRUNK AT THIS POINT) when suddenly, it gets really hard to breathe and my eyes start watering.

someone pepper-sprayed the fuck out of our floor.

long story short, the hotel has to be evacuated, we stand out in the rain for around 45 minutes, everyone coughing and rubbing their eyes.

finally, we get back to our room and crash.

Sunday:
being hungover, we sleep through our wakeup call, miss half of the conference and as a group, decide that we just want to go home. We rally the troops, pack the van and drive home. An uneventful drive, the high point being a group-singalong to Weezer's Pinkerton. perfect.

anyway, that's about it -- this week is going to suck, but I love you all, regardless.

tomorrow is the worst day ever.

eric

Monday 04 April 2005 at 01:06 am

Five comments