Sitting at my desk, working my day away, not focused on anything in particular...

When suddenly, unexpectedly, I am completely blindsided by a song I never expected to hear on the radio.

A flood of memories comes at me, stopping my fingers mid-type. I remember everything it meant to me. I remember the tears I cried, the emotions I felt, the everything this song was... and isn't anymore. Instead there is a sort of hallow spot where I know those emotions used to live but have since vacated.

A sad sort of happiness takes over. That was years ago. A lifetime ago. I am well beyond those years. But they were big ones, important ones, which taught me so much, even though I didn't realize it until well afterwards.

So thank you. For those brief instances of happiness, for the seemingly endless heartache, for the first love, for the first love loss. I thought I would never recover from you, but now I know you helped make me as strong as I am today.

I totally spaced the fact that today is my mother's 54th birthday... even after I had a conversation with her on my way to work. Yeah for florists who deliver.

Seriously, it's been a month since I posted? Seriously? Wow...

Things have been hectic. I keep a very regular schedule and getting up, going to work, coming home, feeding the cat, and then generally going out to meet up with someone for drinks or dinner or something. I'm enjoying it. Some of my favorite people come see me on my side of the river, and I've discovered new favorite people as well.

My latest obsession is running. Working for the Army, I get paid to work out every morning. I definitely take advantage of that. But lately I've been wanting to do more running. It's sick. So I decided that I was going to run from the boys' house (SE 38th and Hawthorne) to my house (SW16th and Morrison). Just over 3.8 miles, I believe. So last night, Philip and I went to dinner, then I changed into running clothes and off I went.

40 minutes. Flat. I didn't stop running once, and if I was stuck and an intersection, I ran in place. I was so proud of myself. I will be doing this more frequently. Now I just need to get back up to speed with an ab workout, and I'll be set for summer...

On a completely different note: I've started something. I'm not sure if it's good or bad, but I've started it. For the first time in my life, rather than over-analyzing the pros and the cons and the what-ifs, I just dove right in. I'm loving it. It's not nothing but it's not something. It's a thing.

All I know is that I'm not going to stop this thing. I can't think of a time when I felt more at ease. I'm going to enjoy this for as much of and as long as I can. Debbie not playing it safe; this is new. I like it.


always.....

So we get bored sometimes working all day on sets and we have very strange ways of keeping ourselves occupied. For the faint of heart I suggest not reading any further, for anyone else, I present DOCKING.

Docking- When Two dudes, one being uncircumsized, points their penis' at each other. The uncircumsized one takes his foreskin and pulls it over the other ones penis, therefore "Docking" with him.

Because we are bored sick fucks, we made up some variations of this:

The DOCK RING: When docking occurs, the dude circumsizes himself leaving the foreskin "ring" on the other guys penis.
The Time Traveler: Pulling the foreskin around someone butt cheeks and fucking their ass.
The Dilithium Crystal: Docking someone with genital warts.
The Warm Mayo Sandwich: The circumsized guy jizzes in the uncircumsied guy's foreskin and he saves it in there untill he docks someone else.
The Hot Mustard Sandwich: We haven't figured this one out completely yet, but we think it will have some thing to do with syphilis and seeds (like mustard seeds).

Yep, bored sometimes.